Ted Cohen | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Ted Cohen 
Member since Mar 13, 2014

Recent Comments

Re: “During Street Sweeping, Burlington Nearly Towed Bernie Sanders' Car

Great scoop!

Bernie's car was towed!

Once the hooker is latched on, it's a tow - whether the car is transported.

The percentage of cars hooked but not dragged is 1 percent.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Ted Cohen on 06/15/2019 at 5:55 AM

Re: “Burlington Mayor's Attempt to Diversify Leadership Falls Short

Reprinted by popular demand:


Now I'm thinking an elected official like the City Assessor but instead the City Race Assessor.
Every year you could get your assigned race along with your property tax bill, and if you disagree you could file an appeal with the Board of Race Listers (undoubtedly Ms. Sequino would be one of the first candidates). Every four or five years, when the diversity balance is out of whack or the social media market value of different minority groups shifts, the city could call for a city wide race reappraisal and would visit each citizen, assess them on a pantone scale and perhaps a questionnaire or hearing, either affirm or change their race, etc. It could be stressful though; "I was Chamorro for the decades, but now I'm Polynesian? Mom's gonna be pisssssed" or "my father was a Slav, his father was a Slav, but suddenly I'm Circassian? They just pogromed me right out of my own house"

15 likes, 16 dislikes
Posted by Ted Cohen on 06/13/2019 at 5:20 AM

Re: “Burlington City Councilor Hired to Lead BTV Ignite

Joke of the century:

"Roof said he recognizes the conflict and vowed to recuse himself from any council vote allocating money to his new employer. He spoke to City Attorney Eileen Blackwood to ensure he wasnt violating city policies."

Roof knows full well this is a scandal.

So does Blackwood.

We get the government we deserve, people.

Roof is no more culpable than many city officials in obvious conflicts.

But they're cheap distractions, that's all.

If you want a real problem, check your property-tax bills, people. Look at the yearly increases - if you dare.

That is the real scandal - the one obscured by silly issues such as whether a small-time, allegedly self-employed councilor with a pretend consulting business may be compromising public confidence.

Vermont's largest city is a joke, a caricature of itself.

34 likes, 37 dislikes
Posted by Ted Cohen on 06/13/2019 at 5:12 AM

Re: “Burlington Mayor's Attempt to Diversify Leadership Falls Short

Patrick Cashman, per usual, is spot on.

That is why I am replating his comment below, as we say in the newspaper trade:

"'Stephanie Seguino, a University of Vermont economics professor who studies race and gender inequality, explained that Weinberger's cabinet currently contains no racial diversity because Hispanic is an ethnicity, not a race, and del Pozo identifies as white.'

"Really? Is 'race taxonomist' an elected position or appointed? Perhaps instead of using a single person's opinion we could steal from 'The Chappelle Show' and hold an annual race draft to see which races get which people."

Bravo, Patrick Cashman.

23 likes, 19 dislikes
Posted by Ted Cohen on 06/12/2019 at 2:07 PM

Re: “Burlington Citizen Group Sues to Stop Champlain Parkway

If you think this is a disaster now, just wait til DPW starts putting the cylindrical concrete "planters" aka garbage containers and plastic poles along the new $45 million road much as it has done throughout Burlington.

25 likes, 14 dislikes
Posted by Ted Cohen on 06/12/2019 at 4:56 AM

Re: “Burlington City Council Forms Police Oversight Committee; Other Accountability Efforts Fail

When one of these alleged cop critics on the city council is afraid, who will he or she call?

The cops.

They are "alleged" critics because they are all pandering to the populist crowd.

The same crowd whose alleged members will - again - call the cops if they are being robbed or assaulted or you name it.

When they all need help, they will grab the phone and dial 911. They will want cops to get there fast, sirens blaring, guns drawn.

Guarantee it.

Criticizing cops is so transparent.

If there is any good reason for denying the police chief reappointment, meanwhile, it's his apology tour. He goes prostrate every time someone whines about the cops - imagine this - doing their jobs.

To the cops, we say, keep up the great work. The whiners are just playing to the crowd. When they need you, they'll be your best friends.

And they WILL need you.

45 likes, 31 dislikes
Posted by Ted Cohen on 06/04/2019 at 7:25 AM

Re: “Church Street Marketplace Director Ron Redmond to Resign

Church Street is an abysmal, unmitigated commercial failure.

Wait. I meant "The Marketplace."

Church Street in its original iteration was a total success. Big locally owned stores such as Magram's, Abernathy's, etc., selling quality merchandise.

Those were the days when you could drive on Church Street and - get this - park along the curb.

The snowflakes decided cars were bad and that people should walk or use bikes. What a joke. No one walks or bikes to shop.

Now all Church Street has is doodad shops with cheap trinkets, such as refrigerator magnets in the shape of Vermont. For $12 each.

Can't wait to ride my bike downtown to grab one of those.

And trip over the drugged dregs lying on the sidewalk begging for spare change.

Thanks Bernie and Miro. You have really improved your adopted hometown.

The "Marketplace" members ought to petition to abolish the stupid thing and reopen Church Street to cars.

No, wait, then they'd have no room for all those piles of tables and chairs stacked like trash on the sidewalk - linked with chains to prevent theft. What a sight.

19 likes, 68 dislikes
Posted by Ted Cohen on 06/02/2019 at 6:52 AM

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