That's What Friends Are For? | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Seven Days needs your financial support!

That's What Friends Are For? 

Mistress Maeve

Dear Mistress Maeve,

My friend of over 10 years recently broke up with her boyfriend and has started sleeping with - and possibly dating - a guy I cannot stand!

I know I should be supportive of her choices, because they are her choices, but I'm super unimpressed with this guy and her recent actions. I want to be OK with her new relationship, but I'm just not sure I can! I'm also not convinced her new relationship is going to last, so why should I invest my time and energy into getting to know him better? Please tell me what I should do, because I don't want to lose my friend.


Fumbling Through Friendship


Dear F.T.F.,

Most of us have watched friends date unsavory characters, and it's difficult to know whether we should speak up or let them make - and learn from - their own mistakes.

You don't explain why you dislike her new beau. But, barring any outstanding warrants or unwitting wives in multiple states, it's probably not worth giving your friend a laundry list of his flaws - she might resent you for it. If their relationship progresses and you still can't find any redeeming qualities in him, you'll have to set some healthy boundaries for yourself. Tell her that you don't have much in common with him and would prefer to hang out with her one on one. If she questions you, be cautious - don't verbally castrate the guy. Simply explain that you want to support her and her relationships, but you don't have to be best friends with him to remain best friends with her.

Friends first,


Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

More By This Author

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


Comments are closed.

Since 2014, Seven Days has allowed readers to comment on all stories posted on our website. While we’ve appreciated the suggestions and insights, the time has come to shut them down — at least temporarily.

While we champion free speech, facts are a matter of life and death during the coronavirus pandemic, and right now Seven Days is prioritizing the production of responsible journalism over moderating online debates between readers.

To criticize, correct or praise our reporting, please send us a letter to the editor. Or send us a tip. We’ll check it out and report the results.

Online comments may return when we have better tech tools for managing them. Thanks for reading.

Latest in Category

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2022 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401

Advertising Policy  |  Privacy Policy  |  Contact Us  |  About Us  |  Help
Website powered by Foundation