The Classic Conundrum | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
Pin It
Favorite

The Classic Conundrum 

Mistress Maeve

Hey Mistress Maeve,

Twenty-three-year-old female here with a question about oral sex. I don't wish to be crude, but I don't particularly like to swallow. However, I also don't like to let it fly all over my bedspread. What's a girl to do with a mouthful of spunk? I've tried dashing off to the sink, but I'm worried that ruins the moment. Should I keep tissues by the bed?

What's the proper etiquette here? Maybe it's just easier to stomach it (literally)?

Signed,

Spunky Gal

-----------------------------------

Dear Spunky,

Spit or swallow - the classic oral sex conundrum.

You're right: In some instances - like getting it on in a car or in a public place - swallowing is simply the most convenient option. However, if you don't like to ingest his juice, it's perfectly fine to excuse yourself and spill his seed into the sink. A towel nearby is a good option, too - nearly every guy who masturbates is familiar with the "beat rag."

And let's not forget - we have more options than just spit or swallow. If you don't like the taste, consider letting him finish on your chest, face or other body part that turns you on - you can avoid bedspread stains with some skillful aiming and hand shielding. (Just a warning - close your eyes. A shot to the eye stings and can leave you looking like you have pink-eye.)

When it comes to giving him head, forget the etiquette. The only "proper" move here is to do what makes you feel most comfortable. Trust me, if you're giving him oral pleasure, he ultimately won't care where his spunk ends up.

Good to the last drop,

MM

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It
Favorite

More by Mistress Maeve

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Bio:
Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in Category

Social Club

Like Seven Days contests and events? Join the club!

See an example of this newsletter...

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative
newsletters:

All content © 2017 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation