The Original Chubby Muffin 

Dear Mistress,

I’m a very confident 27-year-old woman. I’ve always been overweight. I’ve mostly dated average-sized guys, and my weight has never been an issue in the bedroom. Recently I started seeing a guy I really, really like, and I see us going somewhere. He’s overweight, too. The sex is great — fun, spontaneous, naughty — but we definitely don’t have intercourse as much I’d like to (it’s mostly oral). When we do try to have actual sex, our bodies sort of get in the way, and it’s difficult to maneuver around one another. We haven’t talked about it; I think both of us are kind of embarrassed and don’t want to hurt the other, which is ridiculous. I know there must be positions and tricks that will work better for us. Mistress, can you help? I really want to make this work.

Signed,

The Original Chubby Muffin

Dear Muffin,

Kudos to you for identifying your challenge in the bedroom and tackling it head-on.

As a couple with more cushion for the pushin’, pillows are your best friends. Using pillows to prop up your bottom can transform the missionary position from an awkward mishmash of tummies into a satisfying and easy position for you both. If missionary is too boring, try turning on your side and drawing your knees up close to your chest. This position allows him more room to move without the challenge of working around your deliciously fleshy thighs. If you’re more of a take-charge gal, try my favorite big lovin’ position, which requires your partner to lay back on the bed (or couch, or La-Z-Boy) with his feet planted on the ground while you sit on his lap, facing away from him. This position easily matches up your naughty bits and gives him full view your ample “assets.” It does require thigh strength and stamina on your part — but it’s a worthwhile workout.

Instead of being bashful and not addressing the logistics of your bodies, it’s time to get creative and try solutions — and you know what they say: Practice makes perfect.

More to love,

mm