The Real Thing | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
Pin It
Favorite

The Real Thing 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Dear Mistress Maeve,

Sometimes when I'm having sex, particularly with one-night stands or in the beginning of relationships, I'll fake orgasms. My best friends have no qualms telling me how wretched they think it is for me to fake it, but I just don't see the big deal. If I know I'm not going to get off, what's the harm in arching my back and yowling like a hyena to make the guy feel good? Just because I don't have an orgasm doesn't mean I'm not having a good time, and I feel like faking it shows him my appreciation.

Signed,

Ms. McFakerson

Dear Ms. McFakerson,

You're not "wretched" for faking orgasms - you're just a little misguided. While it's nice that you want to reinforce the self-worth of every lover with a back-arching, Oscar-winning rendition of Meg Ryan's diner scene from When Harry Met Sally, you have to realize that protecting these guys is not your job. Your job, particularly in one-night-stand scenarios, is to experience pleasure. Believe me, I know orgasm is not the end-all and be-all of pleasure, but I'm concerned you've gotten so accustomed to faking it that you might not even bother to try for the real thing.

This idea that women have to fake an orgasm to keep a man's ego intact is archaic, and it's also insulting to the scads of men who would much prefer to put in the extra time and effort to please you. The next time you're tempted to fake it, try something new: Take a deep breath, think about what you need to get off, and then ask for it. There should be no rush to bring you to orgasm, and a worthwhile guy - one-night stand or otherwise - should be willing to accommodate your needs. If he's not, all the more reason not to give him satisfaction by faking it.

The real thing,

mm

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It
Favorite

More by Mistress Maeve

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Bio:
Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in Category

Social Club

Like Seven Days contests and events? Join the club!

See an example of this newsletter...

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative
newsletters:

All content © 2017 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation