To Tell, Or Not to Tell... | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice
Pin It

To Tell, Or Not to Tell... 

Mistress Maeve

Dear Mistress,

I have been with my boyfriend for several years, and we're incredibly happy. My boyfriend works at a small company, and he's in charge of training new hires. Well, the guy they just hired happens to be the guy I lost my virginity to in college. My boyfriend will be working with him, one on one, for the next month.

We all went to the same college, so I think my boyfriend knows I at least dated this guy, and I may have even told him about losing my virginity to him - but, honest to God, I can't remember.

The company holiday party is next week, and we'll all be there! I am freaking out. Should I remind my boyfriend that I once dated him? What if he then asks about the extent of our relationship? I just want to make the proper and mature decision, so I don't hurt my boyfriend's feelings.




Dear Cherry,

Don't freak out. Think this through logically: Most couples, at one time or another, swap stories about losing their virginity. Either you have already told him your story and don't remember, or it will come up at some point in the future. And, now that this guy has reappeared in your life, you must acknowledge it. Remain calm. As with any touchy situation, if you treat this like a big deal, you're more likely to get a dramatic response from your guy.

Don't waste any more time before the holiday party. Ask how your guy's day at work was, and then ask him if he remembers that you and his new trainee dated in college. From there, I would let him guide the conversation. If he wants more details, he'll ask. If he doesn't care to know the extent of your sexual relationship, don't force it on him.

Some people might say you shouldn't tell your boyfriend, but remember - if you don't have a relationship built on trust and honesty, what do you really have?



Did you appreciate this story?

Show us your ❤️ by becoming a Seven Days Super Reader.

Got something to say? Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!

Pin It

More by Mistress Maeve

About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.

Latest in Category

Keep up with us Seven Days a week!

Sign up for our fun and informative

All content © 2018 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. 255 So. Champlain St. Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401
Website powered by Foundation