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"Weird Al" Loves Food 

Unless you're share my predilection for parody and all things gastronomic, you may not have noticed that "Weird Al" Yankovic has an awful lot of songs about food. It wasn't until I cleverly picked up on this trend and threw myself into deep research mode that I learned he'd released a compilation of culinary-themed anthems entitled, "The Food Album (1993)" Here are a few tasty verses to whet your appetites:

Taco Grande (to the tune of Rico Suave by one hit wonder, Gerardo)

So give me something spicy and hot, now
Break out the menu, what you got, now?
Oh, would you tell the waiter I'd like to have sour cream on the side
You better make sure the beans are refried...

Spam (to the tune of "Stand" by REM)

Spam in the place where I live (ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy)
Spam in my luchbox at work (it's the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwich any way you slice it at all...

The Rye or the Kaiser (to the glorious strains of Survivor's "The Eye of the Tiger")

Try the rye or the kaiser or the wheat or the white
Maybe I can suggest an appetizer
Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight
But you just can't go wrong with the rye
Or the kaiser...

This one didn't make it onto The Food Album, but it's just as scrumptious nevertheless:

My Bologna (to the tune of "My Sharona" by The Knack)

Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one
Open up a package of my bologna
Ooh, I think the toast is done, the toast is done
Top it with a little of my bologna

Some dude who is not Weird Al has collected the lyrics to all of his songs (that's where I found the above), including a bunch of unreleased ones. Who knows how he got his hands on them. Here are some titles of ones we might see in the future: Avocado (Desperado, The Eagles),  Chicken Pot Pie (Live and Let Die, Guns 'n' Roses),  Don't You Forget About Meat (I better not have to tell you) and Gravy on You (Crazy on You, Heart).

Here's a little contest for you...this is the chorus of an unreleased Weird Al parody of a famous song. Can you guess the song?

Burger King
What's the price for fries
I'll take the jumbo size
I need fast food tonight

If you're really lucky, I may share some of my own gastro-parodies in the future...how about you?
(By "Weird Al" Yankovic)

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Suzanne Podhaizer

Suzanne Podhaizer

Bio:
Former contributor Suzanne Podhaizer is an award-winning food writer (and the first Seven Days food editor) as well as a chef, farmer, and food-systems consultant. She has given talks at the Stone Barns Center for Agriculture's "Poultry School" and its flagship "Young Farmers' Conference." She can slaughter a... more

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