What to Do When a Dude Stops Responding | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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What to Do When a Dude Stops Responding 

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

Published April 17, 2013 at 9:09 a.m.

Dear Mistress,

I was recently dating a guy and we really seemed to like each other. On our third date, things were getting hot and heavy, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to have sex. He told me it was fine and expressed how much he was looking forward to our next date. I was charmed by his patience and ended up having sex with him. It was pretty hot, and he spent the night. He texted the next day to ask if I wanted to go out the following Saturday. All good, right? Wrong.

On Friday, I texted him to see what time he’d be picking me up the next day. No response. On Saturday afternoon, he texted to say he was sick and that he’d have to reschedule. I called immediately to see if he needed anything (I was fully prepared to bring him homemade chicken soup). He didn’t answer, and I left a message. Fast forward to the following Wednesday. After not hearing from him, I get an email saying that he’s gotten really busy at work but maybe we could grab a drink in a week or two when things slow down. That was a couple days ago, and I haven’t responded. I am just so confused. If you’re done with me, why bother offering up a date down the road? Am I being too sensitive? Should I write him back and tell him to hit me up when he’s less busy?


Confused and Annoyed

Dear C&A,

Sorry to the bearer of bad news, but you got humped and dumped. Keep your chin up; it happens to the best of us. You’re not being too sensitive — you’re being perceptive. Whether he’s under the weather at home or under the gun at work, it all boils down to one simple truth: If he wanted to see you, he would.

Kudos to you for keeping your cool. Instead of continually calling and texting him to follow up, you kept your dignity intact. Your gut is telling you there’s something off with this guy, and you should heed the warning. If you feel compelled to write him back, simply say, “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think we’re a match. Take care.” Or, in this instance, you can choose to ignore him completely — you’ll be showing him exactly the same amount of respect he’s showing you.

Dump the chump,


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About The Author

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve

Mistress Maeve wrote a weekly advice column on love and lust from September 2007 until January 2014.


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