Dear Reverend,
I'm still pretty young, but I've had a lot of sex. I mean, a lot. I'm worried that it has taken a toll on my vagina and I'm not as tight as I could be. Is there anything I can do?
Loosey Goosey (woman, 31)
Dear Loosey Goosey,
Many people refer to everything between a woman's legs as the vagina, but the word technically refers to the narrow canal that runs inside your body from the visible vulva to the cervix.
That a vagina gets loose with use is a myth created to shame women for having active sex lives. The vagina is incredibly elastic and accommodates all shapes and sizes. The only thing that can really stretch it out is having a baby, but vaginas are designed to do that without too much damage. Unless you have a tear or an episiotomy, a 10-pound human can pass through it, and it will bounce back to close to its old self.
There are exercises you can do to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, the best known being the Kegel exercise. Contract your pelvic floor muscles (imagine stopping yourself midstream while peeing) for three to five seconds. Relax for three to five seconds. Repeat 10 times. Gradually increase the time of the contraction and relaxation up to 10 seconds. Do this a few times a day — in your car, at your desk, waiting in line at the grocery store. After you get good at it, you can do it during intercourse, which is fun for everyone involved.
Unfortunately, our messed-up society has conditioned women to think there's always something wrong with our genitals. Can you imagine if men believed their penises got smaller every time they had sex? Just know that your vagina is perfectly perfect the way it is, and keep on keepin' on.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend