Dear Reverend,
My mother always asks me to go shopping with her on Black Friday. We get up really early, hit all the big stores, and buy a bunch of presents and stuff we don’t need. She loves it, but I hate it. Dealing with parking, crowds and everyone being in a shopping frenzy really stresses me out. How do I get out of it this year without hurting her feelings?
Sindi Lew (woman, 25)
Dear Sindi Lew,
Every year, on the day after Thanksgiving, I participate in Buy Nothing Day (buynothingday.co.uk). I stay cozy at home, snack on leftovers, maybe see some friends and family — basically just chill out and do whatever. But I don’t buy a damn thing. It’s absolutely fantastic, and I invite you (and your mother!) to join in my tradition.
If you need more inspiration, I suggest watching the documentary Buy Now! The Shopping Conspiracy, currently streaming on Netflix. If it doesn’t make you want to cut your consumption, nothing will.
Be straight up with your mom. Tell her that the hustle and bustle of this big shopping day just isn’t fun for you anymore. Explain to her that the Black Friday sales that used to be limited to just one day often now last weeks, so she’s most likely not going to miss out on any spectacular deals if she chooses to sit this day out, too.
If she still feels the need to enter the fray, she’s a big girl and can head out there on her own — or wrangle another shopping companion. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that.
However, I imagine your mom really looks forward to spending that time with you. It would be nice if you could suggest another day to get together for some light shopping and holiday cheer. How about heading out on Small Business Saturday to hit up local shops instead?
She might not find such big bargains, but I can guarantee that these types of retailers will appreciate the business a heck of a lot more than any of the big chains. Aunt Josephine really doesn’t need another pair of $3 pajamas anyway.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in Nov 27 – Dec 3, 2024.
