When Gregory Urban woke up last Friday, he found himself in a pasta maze: Nearly every door handle of his Guilford home was covered in a wad of limp, cooked spaghetti. Some noodles were carefully knotted around the handle, while others were haphazardly attached with tape.
The culprit? Gregory’s wife, Carol Anne Urban, who “glutened up” her home in a lighthearted attempt to deter thieves following a recent string of car break-ins around their neighborhood. Certain crimes have also increased in nearby Brattleboro, where a knifepoint carjacking occurred in May.
The Urban’s two children, ages 7 and 9, were frightened by the news of nearby car break-ins. Carol Anne thought setting a trap — however nonsensical — might help them feel a sense of agency. At first, Carol Anne planned to coat door handles with shaving cream, but she opted for easy-to-clean cooked spaghetti instead.
“Can you imagine a burglar attempting to break in and getting a handful of spaghetti?” Carol Anne said, laughing. “It just brings me joy; it’s awesome.”
That joy stayed with her well past the initial stunt, to later in the day, when Carol Anne realized she had been driving around town with spaghetti still taped to her car door.
The spaghetti snare was a hit on a Brattleboro-area Facebook page, where Gregory posted pictures of Carol Anne’s booby trap with the caption: “Try that in a small toooooooown. Credit to my wife for staying up late and keeping us safe!”
Commenters ate it up, lauding Carol Anne’s silly, creative attempt to deter crime.
“When ‘kill ’em with kindness’ fails, assail them with pasta is surely the answer,” Guilford resident Joanna Terry wrote.
The original print version of this article was headlined “Spaghetti Snare”
This article appears in Aug 2-8, 2023.
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