My first baby was born in September 2017. I became pregnant right after graduating college, and although it was an unexpected pregnancy, I dove into reading books and planning for the birth. Nine months later, I ended up with a 36-hour labor, an epidural, Pitocin, coached pushing, a few stitches and my sweet baby boy. It wasn’t until processing the experience afterward that I realized it could have been so much better if I had been more prepared.
When I became pregnant the second time, we stayed home as long as possible before driving to the hospital; our girl was born less than an hour after we were admitted. I gave birth without medication and felt the birth high again as soon as she was placed in my arms, but again, there were parts that frustrated me.
Our family moved to Vermont between our second and third babies. I knew home birth was an option, but it wasn’t until we moved that I realized it was a real option for me. Before our third baby was conceived, I knew I would give birth at home. We found a great midwife. Every prenatal visit felt fun and comfortable. I felt respected and in control.
I had invited my sister, Katie, to come up from New York City to witness the birth of her niece and be our birth photographer. She arrived when I was 39 weeks pregnant and planned to stay for a week.
But my baby had no interest in being born; Katie postponed her flight home three times before labor started. I had contractions every night which turned out to be prodromal, or false labor. By 2 a.m., they would stop, and I’d wake up in the morning feeling frustrated. Katie had to fly home on November 10. On the 9th, I drank castor oil to see if I could get the prodromal labor to turn into actual labor.
It was so special to feel her moving and know that she was working with me to be born.
After choking it down — mixed with scrambled eggs and cheese — I watched TV with Katie and my husband, Kyle. I sat on an exercise ball and did hip circles. My midwife, Jen, arrived around 7:30 p.m. with her assistant, Sienna. When nothing seemed to be happening, Jen suggested we try to get some sleep. She and Sienna slept on the couches in the living room.
Soon after I laid down, the castor oil started working, and I spent the next hour making trips to the bathroom to poop. I was ready to sleep around 11 p.m., but as soon as I had given up on labor, the contractions started. By 2 a.m., instead of stopping, they continued.
Around 5 a.m., they became painful enough that I woke up Kyle. We went to the living room, where we could have more space. Jen and Sienna went into our older kids’ rooms to rest. Our kids were staying with my parents; I knew from my previous labors that I tend to swear a lot and don’t like distractions.
We woke up Katie, and she joined us. During the contractions, I enjoyed leaning over our kitchen island. Kyle put air in the birth pool so it would be ready. At 8:30 a.m., Jen asked if I wanted a cervical check and I said yes. I was 5 to 6 centimeters dilated and was reassured that I would probably meet my baby that day.
Once I was up, the contractions came back. I just listened to my body and focused on opening. Kyle would rub my back and squeeze my hips. In between contractions we would all talk and laugh and enjoy each other’s company. It was such a fun morning.
During each contraction I would visualize my cervix opening and picture my uterus squeezing my baby down. This kind of visualization had been helpful during my last birth, and it was this time, too.
Around 10 a.m., Kyle, Katie and I went for a walk. We live on a quiet dirt road with views of the mountains, and it was surprisingly warm. We didn’t go very fast or very far, but the sunshine felt so nice. When I would feel a contraction coming, Kyle would allow me to lean on him for support. After a short walk, I wanted to go inside and get into water.
Sienna helped Kyle and Katie fill the pool. I snacked on crackers and string cheese and drank water in between contractions. Getting in the water felt amazing. Kyle sat outside the pool holding my hands, rubbing my shoulders and pushing on my lower back. I kept changing positions as I felt myself opening.
I started to feel the pressure that meant my baby was coming soon. I reached a finger down and could feel my bag of water and my baby’s head right inside. She was so close. I moaned and swore through the contractions and took deep slow breaths. During the moments between contractions, my baby would move and wiggle. It was so special to feel her moving and know that she was working with me to be born. We were in this together. I trusted her to help me when it was the right time.
The pressure got very intense. I knew it was almost time, and I went to go labor on the toilet. We have a small bathroom that our kids use, and it felt safe and comfortable to be there. Jen reassured me that she has seen a lot of babies born in bathrooms. She waited in the hallway while Kyle and I went in. He sat on the edge of the tub and held my hand and rubbed my thigh while I had a couple of contractions on the toilet. After two contractions there, I knew my baby was coming.
“I feel the pushing urge,” I said.
“You’re doing great,” Jen said.
I knelt down next to the toilet with one knee down and one knee up in a half squat. Kyle sat behind me on the edge of the tub, holding me and telling me how amazing I was doing. My body completely took over at this point. I reached a hand down and felt my baby’s head starting to be born. I wasn’t pushing — if anything I was trying to hold her back. I whispered “slow down” as she started to crown. I had allowed my body the space and time to do the work for me, and my body pushed entirely on its own. My water broke in a splash right before her head was born. Her body followed a second later in the same contraction.
Jen helped catch her as she came flying out, and immediately she was on my chest. It happened so quickly, and I was amazed at what my body just did. Feeling the fetal ejection reflex was like an out-of-body experience. She came out pink and screaming. I held her to me and talked to her. Kyle and I admired the perfect little girl we had created. We named her Quinn Katherine.
This story is adapted from Beauchamp’s book Birth Happens: A Collection of Birth Stories, which features 128 stories from women who gave birth in 2021. Learn more at birthsmiles.com.
This article appears in Kids VT, Spring 2024.
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