“We got to work this morning and heard this huge, screeching crash and looked out the window, and right outside the shop an alien had apparently just landed!” So went Steve Conant’s story when I called him about the female “alien” clinging to the side of his building. I saw her when I walked to work this morning, but it turned out I’d missed all the “action.” Which was a “hazmat” crew — conveniently located inside the Conant Metal & Light building — suppressing the “fire” from the alien’s body-sized space ship. After their work was done, the crew set up a caution tape around the crash site, a job that reportedly met with the approval of  Burlington Public Works.
    Speaking of bodies, Ms. Alien was about six feet tall and, according to Conant, “fully articulated and anatomically incorrect.” He’s not sure what will happen with the figure after she’s removed at the end of the day. Me, I’d like to see her continue to climb the walls.
    Oh, and happy April Fool’s Day!

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Pamela Polston is a contributing arts and culture writer and editor. She cofounded Seven Days in 1995 with Paula Routly and served as arts editor, associate publisher and writer. Her distinctive arts journalism earned numerous awards from the Vermont...