Dear Reverend,
Every year around the holidays, I visit and stay with my sister for a few days. I love spending time with her, but she keeps her heat so low that I freeze my butt off at her house. I’ve tried to drop hints about being cold, but she says she gets too hot if the temperature is any higher. How do I get her to heat it up when I’m there without being a jerk about it?
Heat Miser (man, 38)
Dear Heat Miser,
When you stay at someone’s house, you play by their rules. Simple as that. However, a host should want their guests to be comfortable. It’s a fine line, but if you’re too cold and she’s too hot, we’ve got a bit of a “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” situation on our hands.
You’ve dropped hints, but maybe you need to take a more direct approach and be specific. Ask if the thermostat could be bumped up by just 2 degrees, and promise that if she gets too toasty it can come right back down. It sounds like she’s a stickler, but it’s worth a shot.
No heating system is cheap. Is it possible your sister is keeping the temperature low to cut costs? Perhaps offering to throw a few beans toward the heating bill would encourage her to crank it up during your stay.
If neither of those options seems feasible, your best bet is just to be practical. You know that you’re going to be cold when you visit your sister, so be prepared. Dress in layers. Invest in a good pair of lightweight long johns. Pack whatever clothes keep you cozy: knit caps, big socks, an extra sweater or two, a fuzzy robe. You don’t want to walk around her house wearing a parka, but it’s not hard to get comfortably bundled up for the indoors.
Here’s another idea: If you give her a holiday gift this year, make it a big, furry throw blanket — one you can cuddle up with to make your visit feel just right.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in Dec 3-9 2025.