Dear Reverend,
I can’t stand my brother’s girlfriend. I wouldn’t say she’s abusive, but I don’t like the way she treats him, and she’s generally not a nice person. I’m getting married in the fall, and I’d rather she not come to the wedding. They’ve been together for almost a year, so I’m sure my brother is going to bring her as his plus-one. Would it be rude for me to tell him that he can’t bring a guest?
Bristling Bride (woman, 27)
Dear Bristling Bride,
It’s your wedding, and you can do whatever you want, but traditional etiquette usually allows for immediate family members to bring a guest. Not letting your brother bring a date because you don’t like his girlfriend seems not only rude but also a bit passive-aggressive.
If you absolutely don’t want your brother to bring her to the wedding, you could adopt a “no ring, no bring” policy for all attendees. That means no plus-ones other than spouses or fiancé(e)s. Unless you have financial or space limitations to make that step a necessity, I’d suggest you skip it. Attending a wedding without a sidekick isn’t very fun, and you want your guests to have a good time.
Speaking of having a good time, that’s what you should be doing at your wedding! During the ceremony and reception, you’ll be so occupied with other things — like the person you’re marrying — that you’ll hardly be paying attention to your brother or his guest.
Wedding planning is stressful enough, so why add this worry? If you feel the need to address your distaste for his girlfriend, do it some other time.
He’s been with this woman for a relatively short stint, and your wedding isn’t happening for some months. Hopefully, between now and then, your brother will come to his senses and find someone else to be his date for your big day.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in May 27 • 2026.
