Dear Reverend,
My girlfriend and I moved in together last year, and everything is great except for one thing: She has a collection of stuffed animals she keeps on a shelf in our bedroom, and she often sleeps with one or two. I understand they are important to her because she’s had them since she was little, but it can be hard to get in the mood when there’s a teddy bear staring at me. How do I let her know they give me the creeps without hurting her feelings?
Theo Dore (nonbinary, 29)
Dear Theo Dore,
Your girlfriend is not alone. In 2017, the Build-A-Bear company commissioned a survey that found about 40 percent of American adults still sleep with a stuffed animal or childhood blanket. Other studies put that number between 23 and 35 percent. Either way, that’s a lot of grown-ups cuddling with cute animals at bedtime.
Aside from nostalgia, there are psychological benefits to sleeping with a stuffed animal. It can calm the nervous system by lowering the stress hormone cortisol and triggering the release of oxytocin, making it easier to fall asleep. It’s no different from other
forms of sleep self-care, like weighted blankets, cozy jammies or fancy pillows. Be that as it may, those glassy eyes sure can put a damper on sexy time.
Have a conversation about it when the two of you are not in bed or about to be intimate. Choose a time when you’re just hangin’ out or having dinner. You know she’s sentimental about the stuffed animals, so it would be best not to tell her that you think they’re creepy. Focus on your desire to make the bedroom more conducive to adult activities. I can’t imagine she’ll be upset by that.
If the stuffies can’t be relocated to another room, perhaps you can move the shelf so it’s not so prominent in the bedroom. Or get some fabric to cover the animals for privacy — they don’t need to be seeing all that action, either. You could also agree on a rule of “No bears in bed” when it’s being used for anything other than sleeping.
With a little consideration and compromise, the two of you can make cuddle time fun for everyone.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in June 24 • 2026.
