“Cuz I can ford a red eed only street a wide a ree land.”

I just got off the phone with the legendary Buzz Osbourne of the Melvins. We were supposed to chat at 1 p.m., but he was “at band practice.” Rad! At least I got to hear his outgoing message, which is the theme song to “Alfred Hitchcock Presents.” Now that’s punk-rock.

It was a rapid-fire conversation — he’s really quite the cutup.

Here’s a tidbit: Buzz claims to be responsible for Kurt Cobain’s demise. Kurt used to follow the Melvins around like a little puppy; by giving him a window into the rock-roll lifestyle, Buzz started a chain reaction that ended with a solitary shotgun blast.

He totally remembered the show they played in Burlington just days after Cobain’s death. “Yeah, that was with The Obsessed,” he said. Heavy.

I was recently sent the Melvins’ upcoming disc, Senile Animal. It’s good, but a couple of tunes seem to rip off Houdini and Stoner Witch. Probably bound to happen after 25 years of rock.

Try this one on for size:

“A History of Drunks”

Casey Rea was the Seven Days music editor from 2004 until 2007. He won the 2005 John D. Donoghue award for arts criticism from the Vermont Press Association.