Dear Reverend,
I’ve been dating a guy for the past three months. We see each other a lot, but it’s still pretty casual. I would like to give him something for Christmas, but I don’t know if that would be weird because maybe it’s too soon. I also don’t want to make it awkward if he doesn’t get me anything. What should I do?
Christmas Pickle (woman, 26)
Dear Christmas Pickle,
The easy solution would be to ask him if he wants to exchange presents, but that kinda takes the fun out of it. If you feel like giving someone a gift, I say don’t second-guess yourself. Doing something nice for someone is never weird — and who doesn’t like getting a present?
Since you’re feeling a little hesitation, avoid getting him anything expensive or extravagant. I’m sure he’d love a Rolex, but even if you can afford it, it’s too early in your relationship for that sort of thing.
When it comes to gift giving, the old cliché is true: It’s the thought that counts. A card with a nice note and some treats, like chocolate or cookies, would be totally appropriate. Or a small gift that relates to one of his interests or hobbies would show that you’ve been paying attention. Perhaps he’s mentioned a band he really likes or a book he wants to read?
You could opt for a gift that the two of you could use together. Tickets to a show or a gift card to a local restaurant would be more like saying “I got us a date” than “I got you a present.” That could ease any awkwardness if he doesn’t have a gift for you.
Speaking of: If that should happen, it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t care or isn’t thoughtful. It’s quite possible that he’s having the same conundrum as you are. And if that’s the case, hopefully he’ll read this, too.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in The Reading Issue 2024.
