Dear Reverend,
I have been married almost 40 years, and I adore my wife. That being said, we have had a sexless marriage for the past few years, mostly due to medical issues that cause my wife pain. I need physical contact, which unfortunately will probably not be forthcoming. Masturbation is getting old. I have considered hooking up with someone but have never done so in over 40 years and do not wish to hurt or disappoint my wife. Thoughts and suggestions would be appreciated.
Don T. Geddanni (man, 70)
Dear Don T. Geddanni,
I’m not sure how you could approach this subject with your wife without hurting her feelings and possibly causing trouble in your relationship. Is lack of sex really worth taking the chance of ruining a 40-year marriage?
It may be hard to be objective, but consider this: What if the roles were reversed and you were the one having medical issues? How would you feel if your wife wanted to seek out another partner? How would you want her to introduce the idea to you? I could be wrong, but it’s hard to imagine that you would be absolutely A-OK with it.
Has your wife talked to her doctor about this situation and maybe gotten second opinions? There might be a way to manage her pain. She probably misses having relations with you, too. It’s worth you both putting in the effort to find a solution.
Meantime, expand your masturbation horizons. Involve your wife in whatever way is comfortable for her. Get yourself some male masturbation toys. If you’ve never tried a pocket pussy, perhaps start there. Heck, you can even buy really fancy sex dolls these days. If you’re too shy to visit your local sex store, there are plenty of ways to shop online.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in May 10-16, 2023.
