Dear Reverend,
My wife and I have two young children, and we both agree that we don’t want to have more. She wants to quit being on birth control and has been trying to convince me to get a vasectomy. I really don’t want to do it, so how do I get her to quit bugging me about it?
V. Deferens (man, 29)
Dear V. Deferens,
I can understand your hesitation, because getting a vasectomy can seem a little scary. But you know what’s a bigger deal? Growing a human inside your body and giving birth.
Your wife has taken two for the team by bearing the children. Not only that, but pretty much every form of birth control for women has some sort of side effects that are no fun. I’d say she deserves a break.
Of course, no one should try to force a person to do something to their body that they don’t want to do. It’s not cool if your wife is really twisting your arm about getting a vasectomy, but you might want to keep an open mind.
A vasectomy is an easy procedure done under local anesthesia. It usually takes between 15 and 30 minutes, and you probably won’t feel a thing. Recovery is fairly speedy, and any pain can be managed with ice and ibuprofen. Most men are back to normal after a couple of days. As with any surgery, complications are possible, though rare. If, for some reason, you ever decide you want the vasectomy reversed, that’s an option.
I imagine that you and your wife had conversations about having children before you took the leap. The same goes for this situation. If you both don’t want another pregnancy, you need to work together to figure out the best solution. Perhaps the two of you should make an appointment with a doctor to go over all of your options.
Like having children, getting a vasectomy can be a daunting decision to make. But if you can conquer your fear, it might just be one of the best things you ever do.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in The Animal Issue 2025.