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News Quirks 

Published July 21, 2010 at 5:18 a.m.

Curses, Foiled Again

When Thomas Peno, 50, appeared at a courthouse in Vernon, Conn., to answer a larceny charge, he broke into several cars in front of the building, according to police, who arrested him after he tried to sell a GPS unit stolen from one of the vehicles to a man who turned out to be the vehicle’s owner. (The Hartford Courant)

Authorities in Snohomish County, Wash., charged Carlton Wopperer, 49, with insurance fraud after he claimed car thieves stole his collection of silk neckties, worth $33,000. His claim raised suspicion because it was the third time in nine years he reported his collection of 212 silk neckties had been stolen from his vehicle. Insurance investigators discovered that Wopperer had bought the ties but returned many of them within minutes of buying them and kept the receipts to back up his theft claims. (Seattle Times)


Nuts to Charity

When Joe Cooper, 24, agreed to undergo a bikini waxing at a charity fundraising event in Leicester, England, onlookers bid to pull off the strips. One strip stuck to his scrotum, and an overenergetic tug by one bidder tore off several layers of skin, causing Cooper to nearly lose a testicle. He was taken to the hospital, where, “They told me if any more skin had come off, that would have been it,” he said, adding, “I’d never do it again.” (Associated Press)


End Results

A Houston inventor whose medical device found a bigger market as a sex toy filed suit against a British company, claiming its cheap knockoff infringes on his patent and might be dangerous because it isn’t as carefully crafted as his original. Jiro Takashima developed the Pro-State prostate massager, which works with muscle contractions instead of electricity to relieve fluid congestion. His company, High Island Health, sells the Pro-State device for $78.50. When men praised it for also improving their orgasms, the company began marketing a version as Aneros, which sells for $49.95. “Our business took a major detour when men started using our prostate massager for recreational purposes,” said Amy Sung, High Island Health’s executive director and Takashima’s daughter. Sung said that another of her father’s medical inventions, a hemorrhoid massager, also enjoys brisk sales as a sex toy. (Houston Chronicle)


Slightest Provocation

Irish authorities charged Sandra Talbot, 32, with assaulting her ex-girlfriend during a costume party at a Dublin pub after bumping into her while wearing an inflatable sumo wrestler suit. Victim Adrienne Martin objected and said Talbot hit her with a bottle she had hidden under her costume after Martin tried to wave at a man dressed as a Snickers bar. (Dublin’s Evening Herald)Police in Largo, Fla., arrested brothers Kevin L. Lambert, 24, and Dustin J. Lambert, 19, after they used two guitars to beat their roommate because, according to arrest reports, Dustin Lambert thought the victim was “cooking his food.” One of the guitars was electric, the other acoustic. (St. Petersburg Times)

A 21-year-old man called police in East Wenatchee, Wash., to say his 17-year-old sister attacked him with a serrated spatula. Officer Carrie Knouf said the incident occurred while the two argued whether to use butter or margarine while making macaroni and cheese. (The Wenatchee World)


Games Aussies Play

Two Australian men in their 30s were treated at a hospital in Horsham, Victoria, after they decided to shoot each other with an air rifle “to see if it was painful or not,” according to police Sgt. Brendan Khan. They concluded it was severely painful, and after doctors removed pellets from their legs and buttocks, Khan said the men “admitted that it was just stupidity.” (Britain’s The Telegraph)


Way to Go

Hours after Mexican singer Sergio Vega, 40, denied rumors circulating online that he had been murdered, he was murdered. El Debate newspaper reported that Vega, known as “El Shaka,” was shot dead while driving to a concert in Sinaloa state. (Britain’s The Telegraph)

Richard Lowrie, 86, was in the drive-through line at a McDonald’s restaurant in Strongsville, Ohio, when he dropped either his glasses or some change from his vehicle. While leaning out to retrieve the item, Lowrie accidentally pressed down on the accelerator, causing the vehicle to lurch forward and smash into a wall, trapping him and causing his death. (Cleveland’s WEWS-TV News)

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About The Author

Roland Sweet

Roland Sweet was the author of a syndicated column called "News Quirks," which appeared weekly in Seven Days.


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