Dear Reverend,
I go to restaurants with friends a lot, and we usually wind up splitting the bill equally. It mostly seems to work out fine, but I often feel like somebody winds up paying more than they should. What’s the best way to handle the check for a group without being annoying?
Tabitha (nonbinary, 32)
Dear Tabitha,
There’s nothing annoying about wanting to make sure everyone pays their fair share, but sorting out the bill at the end of a meal can be a real brainteaser — especially when you’re with a bunch of people and somebody is waiting to bus your table.
Asking for separate checks would be the simplest thing, but I’ve never been sure how servers feel about that. To get the scoop, I consulted a friend who has worked in the restaurant industry for a long time.
She told me that these days most restaurants have swanky point-of-sale systems that make splitting a check fairly easy. But asking to put different amounts on different cards may make your server want to drop a drink on you. You know, the old “Can you put $50 on the red card, $25 on Jim’s card and $35 on the blue card?” It can be done, but it’s a hassle. So don’t do that.
The best thing to do, if you’re with a group of six or less, is to ask for separate checks before you order anything. That way, the server can keep track of everybody on their own tab. If you’re in a larger group, depending on the restaurant, you might not be able to do separate checks. In that case, you may have to opt for the even split. Better yet, have one person put the whole thing on a card, and then pay them your share right away with cash, Venmo or another payment app.
Nobody likes to do math when they’re in a food coma, but there’s a calculator on your phone. Don’t be afraid to use it.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in Apr 19-25, 2023.
