Dear Reverend,
My partner and I have been together a long time. Everything is great, and we never argue — except about one thing. Every time he poops, he lights a match. He insists that it gets rid of the odor, but I think it just makes the bathroom smell like a burnt turd. On top of that, he always leaves the used match on the toilet tank or edge of the sink. I know it’s not the worst problem to have, but how do we clear the air?
Stinky Situation (man, 33)
Dear Stinky Situation,
I’ve never understood why some people think lighting a match after dropping the kids off at the pool is a good idea. It’s hard to pinpoint when it became a common practice, but it started sometime after 1826, when friction matches were invented.
Farts and feces contain hydrogen sulfide and methyl mercaptan, which cause their foul odor. Striking a match produces sulfur dioxide, which gives off a stronger, perhaps slightly less disagreeable smell. It doesn’t magically get rid of the odor-causing compounds; it just creates a more pungent stench that temporarily takes the nose’s mind off the original offender.
Leaving the spent match lying around adds insult to injury, but you should never flush matches down the toilet. They don’t break down easily in water and can combine with other debris to cause blockages. Your partner should put them in an ashtray or other fireproof container or simply run the match under water for a bit before disposing of it in the trash.
Since you dislike this practice, there are luckily many other ways to dissipate bathroom odors. One of my personal favorites is the “courtesy flush.” This involves a preliminary flush right after you poop, then a second one after you take care of your paperwork. While it may not be the most water-conservation-friendly option, it works wonders when you feel the need to take an inconspicuous crap.
There are also products you spritz in the bowl before you go (like Poo-Pourri and Just a Drop) and natural air fresheners. Don’t forget about good ol’ ventilation: Your guy could open the window or turn on the bathroom fan. If he just can’t quit his match-burning ways, get him some incense matches for a more pleasant scent than sulfur.
Hopefully, one of these options will help him cut the crap.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in Aug 20-26, 2025.