James
DeForge was a man of many names: JD, Jim, Jimmy, Jim-Jim, Uncle Jim,
Master James, Hawg, Hawg Man, the Gatekeeper of Broadlake Road
(self-appointed), and the list goes on.
Born
on July 30, 1960, Jim was the youngest child of Barbara and Norman
DeForge. His childhood was rich with activities and adventure —
from backyard hockey to boating on Lake Champlain, where summers were
magical and endless.
Jim’s
outlaw spirit and infectious personality were apparent at an early
age. His second-grade teacher once declared, “Jim lives every day
like it’s a birthday party.” That attitude continued into
adulthood, where Jim’s razor-sharp wit, good looks, humor and gift
for storytelling drew people to him. Many considered Jim to be their
best friend. Recently, an old friend said, “Jim had a golden
heart.”
That
golden heart was tempered with electric blue eyes and a striking gaze
that always held a glimmer of mischief. Jim often pushed the limits —
especially in his younger days, making him a local legend. His edges
softened over the years, and he found fulfillment in quieter times.
He
loved fishing, from a charter boat on Lake Ontario to the ice on
Mallett’s Bay. He was an excellent marksman (stationary targets
preferred) and spent many deer seasons with his cousins at their
family deer camp.
One
of those rare people who are good at everything they do, Jim learned
to drive a boat at age 7, could ride a horse bareback just for the
hell of it, and could hop on his dirt bike and change gears while
doing a wheelie. Despite his slim stature, he was a skilled hockey
player completely at ease on the ice. He played a mean harmonica
and famously accompanied the Phil Abair Band on “Mustang Sally”
at his 50th birthday party.
These
abilities translated into his career as a truck driver, earning Jim
the nickname “the Natural” for his mastery of an 18-wheeler. He
could back into the most difficult spaces with confidence. Once, on a
big city run, he dismissed a doubtful dockhand and said, “I’m
from Vermont, and I do what I want.” Jim only needed one attempt to
park his trailer, a feat that left bystanders awestruck.
When
his driving days were over, Jim spent much of his time at home on
Colchester Point. You never had to call first when visiting Jim, just
head down the basement hatchway stairs to “the Bench.” There,
countless stories were shared, with Jim holding court. He loved being
at the helm. Spending time with Jim was an escape from the pace of
modern life. He never had a cellphone or a computer, watched
“M.A.S.H.” and “Gunsmoke” on repeat, and rode in an airplane
exactly once (one-way to Pittsburgh).
Jim
was a man of nonnegotiable absolutes — dog: German shepherd; truck:
Ford F-250, black, even years; beer: Budweiser; smokes: Marlboro Reds
(he was a real-life Marlboro Man with the voice to match), followed
by Black & Milds after he quit cigarettes; haircut: once a year
on April 1, only given by his friend Rhonda; long johns: six months
on, six months off.
He
had a variety of signatures phrases. Someone do you a favor? “I
appreciate the appreciation.” Not up to the job? “Sub it out.”
Need some flexibility with your arrival time? “Put an ‘ish’ on
it.” Plans with Jim? “No pressure.”
Jim
was creative, a great gift giver, and far more sensitive and
observant than he let on. He was generous, sometimes overly so, and
held so many people in his heart, especially Sue Ellen Bennett, his
partner of 25 years.
During
Jim’s final days, friends and family gathered at his bedside, in
the house, on the lawn and at the beach. The day before Jim passed,
his dear friend Mark Abair stayed late into the night, holding vigil
with a serenade of acoustic guitar and soft songs that drifted
peacefully through the house.
Jim
passed on June 2, 2024, as the sky over Lake Champlain burst into
pink, purple, gold and yellow. He truly did ride off into the sunset.
Mark Abair picked up his guitar and led a heartfelt rendition of Eric
Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven.” It was the perfect send-off.
Jim
is survived by his partner, Sue Ellen, (and family); sisters, Jacky
DeForge and partner Linda, Judy Carpenter and husband Case, and Jo
Ann DeForge; niece, Courtney Copp, and partner Matt; nephew, Chris
Copp; numerous cousins, including GJ Critchlow, with whom he was
especially close; and an extended family of friends. This sacred
tribe — you know who you are — saw Jim through all phases of his
life and supported him until the very end; a bond never to be broken.
Jim
was predeceased by his parents, Norman and Barbara DeForge, and his
German shepherds, Duchess, Bo, Hank, Judd and Coal.
Jim’s
family thanks Noah Wollenburg, PA-C and Chelsea Chalfant, RN and her
colleagues at the University of Vermont Medical Center Home Health &
Hospice. Together, they helped Jim realize his wish to die at home.
Donations in Jim’s name can be made to UVM Home Health & Hospice or to the charity of one’s choosing.
Fly
high, Jim. You are finally free. We love you fiercely and leave you
with the words of poet Charles Bukowski: “You are marvelous / The
gods wait to delight in you.”
In
lieu of formal services, a gathering in Jim’s honor will be held on
his birthday, Tuesday, July 30, 2024, 1 to 3 p.m., at the Elks Lodge,
924 North Ave., Burlington.
This article appears in Jun 5-11, 2024.