Dear Reverend,
My partner travels for work a lot, and we spend more time apart than I would like. I’ve heard about sex toys that can be controlled remotely and think that could be a fun way to keep our intimacy alive when we’re not together. I’m curious but a little leery about trying it out. What are the pros and cons of such digital dildos?
Elle D. Arre (woman, 32)
Dear Elle D. Arre,
Teledildonics, also known as cyberdildonics, are high-tech sex toys that can be controlled via an app from across the room or the globe. They can be used with or without a partner, but whoever has access to the device can control what it does. This is a great way for people in long-distance relationships to interact physically — well, in a roundabout way.
Despite the name, these aren’t just dildos. There are penis rings, anal stimulators, wearable vibrators, male masturbators — the list goes on. Some of these toys can be programmed with favorite vibration patterns, react to sound and even be synced up with interactive, virtual-reality porn. What a world we live in!
I’ve never tried anything like this, so I can’t give you a personal recommendation. However, when perusing online lists of favorites, I noticed a few companies that pop up often: Lovense (lovense.com), We-Vibe (we-vibe.com) and Lelo (lelo.com). These toys come with a wide range of prices and features, so it seems there’s something out there for everyone.
The only downside I can imagine — like almost anything that’s hooked up to Bluetooth or the internet — is that there’s a chance of security issues. (There’s even a term for hacking into these toys: screwdriving.) Before you buy, read up on the manufacturer and its privacy policies. If you take the plunge, be diligent about turning off the app and the toy when you aren’t using it.
If it really makes you nervous, you could always stick with old-fashioned phone sex. But that’s so 20th century.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in The Tech Issue 2023.
