Update, March 3, 2017, 6:30 p.m.: The Pride Center issued a statement Friday saying it will not tolerate hate speech and that it “rebukes the name Mister Sister.” See the full statement below.
The Pride Center of Vermont board announced Thursday at a packed public forum that it will condemn the “Mister Sister” name of the gay bar proposed in Winooski.
At least 80 people attended the “trans town hall” in Burlington. Almost all of them spoke out against the name, saying it was a verbal slam on trans women.
Many speakers also hurled criticism at the Pride Center for failing to initially take a strong public stand against the name. The barrage went on for close to an hour before the board announced its new position on the matter.
“The Pride Center choosing not to take a side is taking a side. Inaction is action in favor of the status quo,” said Ada Morse, a trans woman from Burlington, before the board announcement.
It would be hard to support the Pride Center going forward, Morse added, “because you all don’t have my back.”
Dusti Parker, a South Burlington trans woman who has long been an activist, said she “came out of retirement” to weigh in on the issue. The name is belittling, she said.
“It’s a slur name,” she said. “It’s a bad name. It’s a hurt name.”
She suggested a boycott of the bar and a huge rally to protest the name.
The owner of the proposed bar, Craig McGaughan, is a gay man who has said in public statements that he sees the name as a gesture of inclusivity.
Robert Toms, owner of the now-closed 135 Pearl gay bar in Burlington, attended the meeting to express solidarity with people who are hurt by the Mister Sister name.
“This is really ripping me apart,” he said about the controversy within the LGBTQ community.
It would be great for the region to again have a gay bar, but not if the name offends part of that community, Toms suggested. McGaughan needs to open his ears and get his “ego out of the way,” Toms said.
McGaughan did not go to the forum at the Champlain Senior Center. He sent a representative, Maura O’Neill, who said McGaughan decided not to attend after conferring with Pride Center interim director Josie Leavitt. They agreed that McGaughan’s presence would be like pouring gasoline on the fire, O’Neill said.
Many people expressed frustration that McGaughan has not been willing to meet with Pride Center leaders, and that he deleted some comments from the voluminous debate about the issue on Facebook.
O’Neill said during the first part of the meeting that McGaughan was not going to change the name of the bar. But after the forum, she took a more conciliatory tone. “I’m absolutely going to give this feedback to him, that’s all I can say,” she said.
At least five board members attended the meeting. They left the room at one point and went into the hallway to confer, then returned with the announcement that they would take a stand and issue a new statement on the matter Friday.
Paul Sisson, co-chair of the Pride Center board, said the meeting provided a “tremendous education.”
He apologized on behalf of the board for not initially taking a stand. “We stumbled a little bit,” Sisson said to the crowd. “We weren’t sure. We were uninformed.”
Sisson said that as a result of the meeting the board was “hearing loud and clear” that the name is unacceptable. “We no longer support the name of that bar,” Sisson said.
People cried, swore and made heated comments about verbal bullying, shaming and degrees of persecution. The discussion also touched on privilege, gender and sexual identity, with numerous speakers saying the “T,” or trans population, in the LGBTQ acronym is the most vulnerable and marginalized group in the community.
It took at least 45 minutes to get the crowd to agree on the ground rules for the discussion, and some people got so frustrated with the linguistic blockage that they left the event in a huff.
The crowd also decided by consensus not to allow TV cameras or newspaper still photography, which upset some attendees. Reporters with notebooks were allowed. Parker, the activist from South Burlington, initially walked out in protest partly over the decision to bar TV cameras.
“This is supposed to be a public forum … The media needs to be there and not be excluded,” Parker said after she walked out.
Ultimately she returned to the meeting and took the microphone several times.
A Seven Days photographer was not allowed to photograph the meeting, but shot some of the participants once it had broken up.
Elena Littlebug, a trans woman from Burlington, views the Mister Sister name as deeply offensive and called out both the bar owner and the Pride Center during the meeting.
By the end of the forum, though, some of the harshest criticism had subsided. Littlebug was feeling much better, and thanked the crowd for saying the right things, proclaiming: “I love you guys.”
The Pride Center issued its statement Friday evening. Read it in its entirety below:
The Pride Center of Vermont stands with our trans community. At the Pride Center, we serve all spectrums of the LGBTQ community and we want to ensure any event we hold is in a location where all feel welcome. In support of this mission, we cannot hold events at any place that uses hate speech as its name. We cannot accept donations from any place with hate speech as its name. We condemn the use of hate speech in promotional materials and especially on signage. The Pride Center of Vermont rebukes the name “Mister Sister.”
Last night’s trans community forum was well attended by our community and the media. It was heated, emotional, and hopefully cathartic to all involved.
The trans community bravely came to advocate for their humanity and right to be treated with dignity and respect. Last night we gave you a microphone and a direct line to the Board of Directors at the Pride Center. You told us this is hate speech. You told us that we had failed you. You demanded that we act. We heard your voices. We felt your feelings. We witnessed faces acknowledging the painful words shared by trans people which lead to moments of learning.We cannot tell what the future holds, but we hope that our community mends and we will continue to maintain our accountability to the needs expressed by the trans community.
Related Stories
Got something to say?
Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!
Looks like that Seven Days photographer didn’t follow the rules and took pics inside the Town Hall of Robert Toms. Naughty, naughty!
Voices were heard, and no support for the bar,the lgbt will not support the bar nor the name,protest and really pending
I think it’s interesting that people are not supporting the pride Center because they didn’t react quick enough. I think the fact that they took a heartbeat to listen to both sides and come to a conclusion whether I agree with a conclusion or not is actually a good thing. We don’t need people flying off the handle without listening to what’s happening that’s what leaders do is listen to the entire community.
“He apologized on behalf of the board for not initially taking a stand. “We stumbled a little bit,” Sisson said to the crowd. “We weren’t sure. We were uninformed.”
Ok. Snaps for you for apologizing. However, this only highlights a larger underlying harm: the Pride Center does not represent or understand trans issues as is demonstrated by the lack of representation on the board.
Since several members of the board just resigned this seems like an opportunity to only select new trans board members. Ideally a couple members of color too (since we are going crazy and actually trying to be representative of the population we serve or something).
With the condemnation of Mister Sister for it’s perceived insensitivity to a certain segment of our community, I’ll be expecting the Pride Center to also call out the “Pop-Up! Queer Dance Parties” for their blatant slamming of a different group. In defending their name, the producers of the QDP state, “… the word queer! offends some folks in the LGBTQ community…” Yup it does… But that didn’t stop them from using it, did it?
When the QDP began I didnt demand that they change the name. I didnt start a campaign to get others to boycott. I didnt cry “those people dont like me.” I decided not to attend. By including the word queer I felt it wouldn’t be a comfortable space for me. Those who choose to embrace the word queer seem to be fine with using a word that many of my generation find objectionable, but find it incomprehensible how we could use a term they might not like.
In the original post about Oak 45 changing its mission, it was clear that he was going to aim to be a gay bar. Obviously the word gay means something different to some which is fine. And Mister Sister must mean something different to me. And thats fine, too.
This isn’t surprising. The Pride Center has a history of getting involved in these petty issues with manafactured outrage and hysteria. Most of us have, until now, just rolled our eyes and continued to support the center. Now, for those of us who disagree with the Pride Centers decision to demonize a good guy because he won’t knuckle under to a fringe bunch of malcontents playing the outraged vitlctim, it’s time to put away our checkbooks when donation time comes around, and to find something else to do when they have a fundraiser. Look at it this way, we’ll now have more money to spend at Mister Sister! And kudos to Craig for sticking to his guns and not capitulating to this bunch of trans feminazis!
Is there a lesbian on the board at the PRIDE Center? There certainly is no programming for lesbians. I think there is homophobia in the trans community I’ve heard it. Maybe we are two different communities. We’ve been told sexual orientation is not the same as gender presentation and aside from opposing violence to the gender non conforming I’m not sure we have the same goals at all.
Hey Bob and anyone else looking to talk to Pop-Up! Queer Dance Party about our name. I welcome that conversation and invite you to reach out to me/us directly through any of our contact means – FB page, messages, etc.
Bob, you have my phone number and everything else, I am disappointed you have not reached out to me once about your concern over our name in the last 6 years we have been holding parties. Call me please.
For all who will read this and want to talk to me about pop-up’s name, message us on our FB page directly. And for those of you I know, call me. As I/we said in our pop-up statement a huge part of this debate of the MS name is HOW we talk to each other. Doing it offline, in person, over the phone, and directly is how we will actually hear each other and create something resembling resolution, even if it is to respectfully disagree.
Here is the full pop-up! qpd statement for full context from the pull quote Bob used: https://popupqueerdanceparty.wordpress.com…
@ peggy luhrs
If there is not a lesbian on the board, there should be. I heard there are open spaces if anyone wants to apply.
@ Sara Robedee-Molino
I am a member of the board. I don’t want to go into the specifics for each person, but our board has representatives from the T, L, G, B communities. We also seek members who are sexual violence survivors, which I am.
We have 7 members, and we can have as many as 15. We are all volunteers. The board is a working board, so many of the Pride events are coordinated by board members, and there is an expectation that board members will be active with our events.
Although we may be “leaders” in the community, we are not necessarily sexuality experts. We each bring our own experience. I was approached to serve on the board last year by the previous executive director because she wanted a voice who was non-monogamous, and I had previous experience with other non-profits. I have never claimed to know other people’s experiences regarding their identity or sexuality. It’s hard enough figuring out my own, sometimes. I suspect most of the board members are similar… we are all just working the best we can with the limited time, money, and skills we have.
I too find the bar’s name offensive. I also found the behavior of a few attendees offensive. I expected adults having a rational discussion about a bar’s name. Instead, I found a few people, who were very angry, attacking the opinion of others. They even attacked other trans people, like me, who were not like them. Is passing/Stealth a bad thing? Please define it. Is it when people stop staring and harrassing? All this anger over the name of a bar. The owner wasn’t calling you by this name. Did he beat you? I would be willing to wager that the owner had no idea he was offending trans people. That name may be perfectly acceptable in the gay/drag community. He needed to hear from us, not be attacked by us. Negative Facebook comments amount to a public lashing that threatened Mr. McGaughan. I highly doubt he means to have a bar for gay people, but not for trans people. He probably reacted by defending himself, wouldn’t we all? I think what we all need is a little forgiveness, for ourselves, the board, Mr. McGaughan, and everyone else. I applaud Ms. O’Neill for attending. It took courage. She had two escorts to her car. That doesn’t sound like she felt safe! She seemed very pleasant when I spoke with her. Rational voices can go a long way. I hope Mr. McGaughan reconsiders the name, but he is well within his legal right not to. Please let cooler heads prevail. Thank you
amen Roy
What would they do if someone opens a bar called STRAIGHTS..Will everyone have a hissy fit ?? It’s just a name..a name won’t hurt you hit you or call you names..You don’t like the name of the bar, then don’t go to it..!!!
Personally, I’ve never understood where LGB intersects with T. Seems like two entirely different experiences to me.
I also don’t see how the name “Mister Sister” qualifies as “hate speech.” It seems to me that words, in order to qualify as hate speech, should express hatred.
In any case he will only be as successful as his last place,not very well