A handful of things I’ve been too busy to mention:

#1: I was interviewed for the Music Edition of VPR’s Switchboard, which aired on Tuesday. Murf from False 45th phoned in to school ’em on the new Yo La Tengo, who they subsequently referred to as “Yellow Tangles” no less than three times. They eventually realized their mistake, but it was pretty funny while it lasted. I do believe you can stream the archive from the VPR link.

#2: Speaking of False 45th, today’s ’06 celeb retrospective features Ben Maddox of Farm. Yesterday was Tanner & Ben from from Nest Material.

#3: Steve Coogan is really funny. Who among you watches Saxondale?

#4: GWAR is sold out, suckers.

#5 My refined year-end faves ran as a feature on Dusted today. The list is somewhat different than the one I originally posted here, as I took more time to ponder. In addition, the prose is modified to affirm my position as an all-important musical-linguistic analysis operative.

#5: I saw a commercial for Yoplait with two ladies dishing in a spa. This thing could send the feminist movement back by at least a decade. The ad is generally offensive, but when the *actresses* get *deep* it becomes unbearable. Here’s an honest-to-goodness example of their exchange:

“Yoplait is like Zen wrapped in karma wrapped in chocolate.”

Apparently, this product is akin to the state of stillness that reflects the thusness of all — manifest and unmanifest — combined with the all-penetrating law of binding causality that subtly affects all — manifest and unmanifest — mixed with a sweet foodstuff.

I came up with a bit of copy for their next campaign: “Yoplait is like the ten thousand things wrapped in Kalki’s sword of obliteration with a vanilla creme demi-glaze.” Feel free to post your own version in the comments field.

I thought I’d be the first to go wide with this one, but evidently other bloggers find it ridiculous, too.

Casey Rea was the Seven Days music editor from 2004 until 2007. He won the 2005 John D. Donoghue award for arts criticism from the Vermont Press Association.

37 replies on “Random Precision.”

  1. You know what, I’m not sure that a light saber can be *covered* in anything…seeing as it can cauterize a wound in milliseconds and melt through a huge metal door…I think I should be disqualified…I need to get my facts straight next time! ps. I would love to sing on Hold On…let me know what I need to do…

  2. I totally missed the VPR thing…I wanted to call in and continue to assert my overwhelmingly pushy love of Ponies In the Surf’s new album.

  3. “Yoplait is like Zen wrapped in karma wrapped in chocolate.”I’m so glad you posted about this–I grind my teeth everytime I hear that twit blabber out this line.And see Casey, aren’t you glad I hounded you about your “best of” list–you got a Dusted article out of it! 🙂

  5. Yoplait is like the delicious tears of billions of mother cows bathed in the sweat of millions of poor sugarcane farmers dipped in the saliva of one greedy American CEO wrapped in an eye-catching, fits-in-your-purse, convenient little toxic package, dusted with sweet sweet anorexia.

  6. That likely puts Art and Molly neck and neck. Shit, now I need to come up with a prize!PS: Art, if you’re still reading… I’m nearly done with my cover of “Hold On, Dear Brother.” It’s pretty sweet… Maybe there’s room for a sixth harmony? 😉

  7. Yoplait is like a light saber guided by The Force held by Luke Skywalker covered in Storm Trooper blood (and sprinkles).

  9. Yoplait is like the Philosopher’s Stone bathed in the unholy fish blood of Dagon, covered with powdered sugar.

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