It’s time once again for a fun round-up of food-related stories from The Onion.

1) Historians Discover Children’s Menu on the Back of U.S. Constitution
2) All Seven Deadly Sins Committed at Church Bake Sale
3) What Kind of Powdered Chocolate Drink Mix Have We Unleashed Upon the World?
4) Kraft Introduces New Kraft Doubles For Couples
5) Very Specific Food Pyramid Recommends Two to Three Shrimp Scampis Per Year
6) Denny’s Comment-Card Archive Offers Glimpse Into Decades of Poor, Fair and Excellent Service

Try not to laugh too hard…your boss might notice!

This article appears in Jan 23-29, 2008.

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Former contributor Suzanne Podhaizer is an award-winning food writer (and the first Seven Days food editor) as well as a chef, farmer, and food-systems consultant. She has given talks at the Stone Barns Center for Agriculture's "Poultry School" and its...