Dear Reverend,
My best friend has a 2-year-old child and just announced that she’s expecting a second baby. I’m not really into babies or parties, but as her BFF, I threw her a big baby shower the first time around. Does that mean I have to do it all over again?
Crib Note (woman, 27)
Dear Crib Note,
According to traditional etiquette, the big, blowout shower is reserved for the first baby. Raising a baby takes a whole heap of stuff, so when the first one is coming, you throw a party where guests “shower” the new mom (or dad, or parents) with all the necessary, and often expensive, equipment. Hence the name.
There are exceptions to that rule, like when there’s a big age gap between babies, or if it’s a first child with a new partner. But those are all kind of old-fashioned technicalities.
A more modern trend is to have a baby “sprinkle” for the second child (and subsequent children). A sprinkle is usually a smaller gathering where guests can gift little-ticket items, like diapers and wipes. Another option is to host a “sip and see,” where close friends and family can meet the new arrival.
Since it’s not a surprise that your friend is expecting, I suggest you talk to her about what she wants to do. She may be over the whole baby-shower thing herself. You’ll never know unless you ask.
If your pal doesn’t want to have a party, perhaps you could arrange for just the two of you to do something special before the stork arrives. Foot the bill for a babysitter and take her out to lunch or a massage — you’ll score some big BFF points.
Any new addition to the family deserves a celebration, even if it’s a little one.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in September 23 • 2026.
