Been awhile since I’ve posted… Listening to the new Broken Social Scene record, stolen from the internets. No, I will NOT post the link here, so don’t bother askin.’
Guess what? It’s awesome! Hee-hee.
Thanks, B.
Okay, audience participation time: What’s the absolute WORST show you’ve ever seen? Think hard and post your replies. Fun for all.
Here’s mine:
It was way back in ’91. The concert? The band “Live” at whatever college (Bates, I think) in Lewiston, Maine.
Notice how I didn’t link to the group? It’s ’cause they don’t deserve it.
These jokers were opening for the Mighty Mighty Bosstones — who were plenty of fun at the time, particularly for 17-year olds experimenting with alcohol.
Goddamn, Live SUCKED! This was the Mental Jewelry era, I believe. Before Seattle reset the cultural calibrator, they were supposed to be the “saviors of rock” or some such. Then again, so were Faith No More, whose album, Angel Dust, is one of the most underrated records of the ’90s.
Anyway, I’ve never seen such a pretentious, pathetic band in my life. And they wore baseball caps! Front-man Ed Kowflgljfghlajfnjknski was the whiniest little singer-songwriter I’ve witnessed outside local dorm rooms. Gag, gag gag! Here’s some of his “deep” prose:
Pain lies on the riverside
And pain will never say goodbye (oh no)
Pain lies on the riverside
So put your feet in the water
Put your head in the water
Come on, put your soul in the water
Join me for a swim tonight
For a swim tonight (oh my love)
Wow. Almost as bad as these:
It’s easier not to be wise
And measure these things by your brains
I sank into Eden with you
Alone in the church by and by
What the flying fuck? I honestly wanted to do physical harm to this individual.
I would unceremoniously end a friendship if anyone in my social group owned a Live record. Or a Jimmy Buffet record, but that’s a whole ‘nother bag of worms.
To be fair, the whole night just plain sucked. During the Bosstones show, my friend Murph got stomped by some skinheads.
My best pal Jason and I jumped in and ended up putting ’em down pretty hard. I think I broke some Nazi’s ribs. We had to jet early, as not to get arrested.
I remember seeing an ambulance pulling up as we drove off.
Man, we was crazy back then.
Although I consider myself a pacifist, when racist bastards are whacking your buddy, you do what you gotta do.
Now share your musical horror stories, people!
Got something to say?
Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!
one of the worst concerts i went to was cypress hill circa 1992 or 93. somewhere around there, maybe earlier. it was at the aragon ballroom in chicago. they were playing with house of pain and funkdoobiest i believe.first off this concert space was so thickly full of smoke (pot and otherwise) that there was little to no oxygen left in the whole room. this left erveyone feeling woozy including a guy a few people back from me. all i can say is that i heard splashing puke. not a good sound. oh and at the aragon, they sold beer in large margarine tubs. it was hilarious. the main reason this show sucked was that it was totally packed. and cypress hill was AWFUL! i think they were so stoned that they had forgotten their own lyrics. the DJ (Muggs) kept bumping the turntable needle during the middle of songs and then they would start the song over. (umm hello DATs dont skip. haha). and i think they had a stage prop of a giant skull smoking a giant spliff replete with fake smoke and everything (ok that part was kinda cool in a funny way). but all in all a pretty bad show. funkdoobiest was pretty good. and house of pain was pretty bad except for when they played ‘jump around’ which totally brought the house down. oh the golden age of hiphop, i miss you!
oh and casey,where were you the other night for the show?it was amazing. im still totally overwhelmed by how many people showed up and how well it all went.it was definitely the experimental music show of the year(s) in burlington.super positive and definitely gave me the impetus to try more things here in town.
Oh, I was there!Seated in back.I never get to chat with you at shows.. Guess I’m not a show-chatter.Good one, tho.I’m going to miss Anna Oxygen, ’cause I’ll be in NYC.Bummer. But, Neil Michael Haggerty and Ben Chasny (electric) await…
I’ll play along!My worst show experience wasn’t so terrible because the music was bad (but it was), it was more terrible because I had such high expectations. My friend who works for Thrill Jockey invited me to go as her “plus 1” to a “secret show” with Spoon and the Zincs. I remembered Spoon from their first album and thought they were alright. So we were really excited about this special show – apparently only record label people were invited, so it was kind of like a Chicago who’s who, or so we thought. When we got there, we found out that it was really one huge weird invite-only advertisement for Jack Daniel’s, with company reps speaking in between bands and girls with huge breasts handing out blinking JD stickers (but not booze – we still had to pay for that… what the hell??). On top of that, the beefy door guy gave me shit for being from Vermont and actually called in my ID to make sure it was legitimate. And all the people there were idiots. And Spoon really sucks – especially live, where you can see how much of a tool the lead singer is.It seems petty to complain about a free show, I know, but… I guess it kind of crushed my faith in much local music and labels, which is a terrible thing for a show to do.
I may think of another one five minutes after I end this post but the first one off the top of my head was Apples in Stereo. I had huge expectations for the show since I was loving Fun Trick Noisemaker and Tone Soul Evolution but was sorely disappointed. The show was at Brownies in NYC which was basically four walls, a bar and a stage on the lower east side. Crappy sound system.Well, the Apples come out and revel themsleves to be a vortex of energy. They had zero stage presence and even less charisma. They basically stood there with slumped shoulders for 40 minutes as they plowed through a dozen tunes and then walked off the stage. They didn’t do anything to agitate the crowd. They just didn’t do a single thing to excite anyone the slightest bit about them. Great records. Suck live.Oh, yeah…The Eels show at the old Higher Ground sucked monkey balls too.
dude, once my friend was in this metal band.and he used to snake dance.talk about a musical horror!
Indeed, the Snake Dance was a truly frightening ritual.It was later supplanted by a “Lousiana Voodoo Dance,” which has been retired out of respect for suffering citizens in the Gulf Coast.
Man, I’ve seen so many bad shows I can’t even count ’em. A good number of them took place in my beloved Burlington. Thankfully, a my memories of many of them have been properly smudged. How ’bout THIS idea: We market a half-xanax, half-whiskey gel capsule that you pop in your mouth before a show. Things get bad, you bite into that sucker like a cyanide suicide pill and within moments it’s ‘hello oblivion!’
Once I had tickets to see Morrissey in Boston 2000ish. I was going with my friend Doug who was about fifteen years older then me and a fellow Mozzer. The night before, I saw Kids in the Hall, also in Boston. The plan was that Doug would drive into Boston with the tickets and meet me at the venue. On the day of the show, I called Doug, who was in a disaffected, “what’s-the-point-in-doing-anything?” kind of mood, almost as if he’d been listening to too much Morrissey. He was unwilling to drive into Boston. Remember – He had the tickets. I had to take a train back to Worcester, borrow my mother’s mini-van, and pick up an ungrateful Doug so we could drive back into Boston in time to see the show. That all said, the show itself was great. It was just getting there that was a bitch. Doug was overwhelmed the whole show. He danced (or swayed rather) and mouthed the words to every song, shaking his head as if he was reluctant to do so but had no choice. About once every thirty seconds, he would hold his palm out in front of him, a little higher than his head, and slowly bring it down. Dramatic!