It’s Monday, which means it’s time for your weekly dose of locavore levity: the Joke of the Week! This week’s joke comes from Burlington’s Tim Bridge. Take it away, Tim…

My ex came up to me the other day and said, “OK, Tim: Fuck, marry, kill…”

And I was like, “Yeah, that’s the plan…”

About That Joke

Says Bridge: I’ve always found the “Fuck, Marry, Kill” game a  little gross, so naturally I decided to make it grosser. I’m very frustrating to date.

Meet the Comedian, Tim Bridge

Tim Bridge Credit: Courtesy of Tim Bridge

Tim Bridge is a standup comedian, improviser and writer from Vermont. He is a member of the Vermont Comedy Club’s house long-form improv team, the Unmentionables, and has been a top-five finalist in the Vermont’s Funniest Comedian contest for the last two years. He is also a writer and performer for Burlington sketch comedy troupe Feed the Meter.

See Him Live

Bridge performs with the Unmentionables every Thursday as part of the Daily Grind show at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington. He’ll compete in the 2017 Vermont’s Funniest Comedian contest at VCC this Thursday through Saturday, September 7 through 9.

Think you can do better?

We’re always looking for jokes from local comedians. We publish one joke each week, and you can read through previous ones here.

Dan Bolles is a culture coeditor at Seven Days. He joined the paper in 2007 as its music editor, covering Vermont's robust music, comedy and nightlife scenes for a decade before deciding he was too old to be going to the Monkey House on weeknights to...