Dear Reverend,
My mother is turning 90 this year. Going to Hawaii has always been a dream of hers, and my sister thinks we should surprise her with a trip. She’s in pretty good health for her age, but I’m concerned about the toll the travel could take. Could it be too much for her, or am I being nervous for no reason?
Worried Wahine (woman, 67)
Dear Worried Wahine,
Funny you should ask, because I happen to have a brother who lives in Hawaii. When my mother turned 80, my other Vermont siblings and I went there with her to celebrate. She had been before, but that time was special. My mom lived to be 86, and that big birthday trip was a highlight of her golden years.
Getting to Hawaii from Vermont is a trek, even when you’re young and spry, so you aren’t wrong to be concerned. Even if your mom is in good health, you should consult with her doctor before booking the trip. If she has any health issues that might be exacerbated by a long flight, the doctor can advise about necessary precautions.
If she gets the green light to go, keep in mind that traveling with an elderly person might require extra planning. Make sure your tickets are refundable in case anything comes up. You might even want to look into getting comprehensive travel insurance. Allow for extra time to get places. Make sure your accommodations will be accessible and comfortable for her.
When you get to Hawaii, plan your excursions around your mom’s capabilities and interests. I’m sure you will find plenty of activities that fit the bill. Whatever you do, remember that it’s a tropical climate: Make sure everybody stays hydrated, and find some shade when the sun is at its peak.
Life is short, even when it’s long. Quit worrying, and go for it. The memories you make with your family last forever.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in Apr 16-22, 2025.
