Kalvin DeForge passed from this world on December 16, 2022, at the age of 30. He loved his father, Jake B. DeForge of Colchester, Vt., and his mother, Angela Allard of South Hero, Vt., unconditionally. He adored his sisters, Jessica DeForge and Brianna Lareau, as well as Joe Lareau, whom he referred to as his stepfather.
Kalvin was known for his incredible intellect, quick wit, charm, tenacity and honesty. He loved fiercely, as his friends can attest to. Many didn’t know that Kalvin was constantly plagued by anxiety, fear and sadness. He mourned the lack of real conversation and connection in the world. He was deeply empathetic and felt the pain of the universe. But Kalvin wasn’t his illness. He was a tender, enthusiastic, loving soul. He loved teaching as much as he loved learning. He wanted you to understand the science and the history and the background of the world. He loved his cat, Schwill, with all of his heart. He gave the neighbor’s dogs love and treats every time they came to our driveway. He asked his grandmother about her younger life and really listened.
He was enthralled with vintage fashion. He was so excited to share the history of each piece that he bought or wished he could buy; it was never just the look but the story of the designer and the time period behind it and what made it unique. He read the works of ancient philosophers, scientists and poets. He loved every kind of music and sang at the top of his voice, dancing around the living room. He was amazingly funny, and his one-liners are legendary. He loved the shock factor and the reaction to his words. He was a big presence in any room he entered and wanted to make everyone around him better, whether by teaching them, listening to them, making them laugh or holding a space for them when they needed it. He was a true friend to many.
Addiction darkened his door many years ago as a way to numb his pain. Being sober meant he was raw and vulnerable and suffering. Eighteen years of therapy, being loved to his core and constant self-exploration couldn’t fix it. He spoke often of how there really was no place for him in this world. I like to imagine he is now sitting with Nietzsche and Joseph Campbell and Shakespeare. He had a lot he wanted to talk about … and maybe bring them up to speed just a little.
I hope there is peace on the other side. In the words of a close friend: Rest in greatness, Kal.
Donations in his memory can be made to Spectrum Youth & Family Services at spectrumvt.org or mailed to 31 Elmwood Ave., Burlington, VT 05401.
This article appears in Jan 11-17, 2023.
I miss my son more than words can say, but I understand why he had to go. There were just too many dark days, too much anguish. I am privileged to have had him for 30 years and I will never ever stop feeling his love for me. I hope others can remember his smile, his laugh, his heart and his soul. He wanted others to find the peace that he just couldn’t. He would be honored for others to climb the mountains in their lives, carrying his light and making their worlds better. Reach out, reach back, reach up. Find a path. Take good care of each other. XOXO
Kalvin,
You were such a bright light to this world and meeting you was one of the greatest pleasures I’ve ever had. I always looked forward to seeing you, and whatever ICONIC outfit you were wearing that day. Your time was cut too short, but I truly believe it was so you could finally have the peace you were searching for, but couldn’t find on this beautiful planet filled with untrusting people. We looked at life in many of the same ways and that’s what really connected us at first. You were always there when a friend was needed and I’m going to miss that so much considering you were one of the purest souls I’ve ever encountered. I know youre sitting up in Heaven with the coolest collector outfits, the comfiest of Yeezys, and the best souls this world ever homed. I’ll miss you buddy, and I know you know Schwill is in very loving hands. Until we meet again, Kallie, Rest in Paradise, my forever friend!
So sorry for your loss Angela and I truly hope that he has found whatever peace the universe affords us when we leave this part of our journey and embark on what lays beyond.
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Our son left this world 3 years ago, also after years of struggling with addiction. As much as I understand it in my mind, my heart is still trying to heal. My son was a carpenter by trade but, also an amazing artist who would give whatever was needed to help someone. He was also a voracious reader and loved all music, from country to opera, depending on the mood. You folks, too, need to reach out. Please know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers.
What CAN’T I say about Kalvin aka Kal is what I called
him?! He was truly my best friend besides my
fiancé and family, he is we the closet person to me! We shared so many great conversations from talking about Politics and Fashion to Animals and Traveling. Often kept tabs on eachother when he was traveling back and forth between home and Florida or wherever else. He was really good about letting me know when he landed and when he was coming back! We even were lucky enough to almost shared the same birthday (mine being October 13th and his the 14th)! I’m grateful for my memories of our last birthday just months back! Where Kal and his mom ❤️ were kind enough not only to buy for me but my whole family a steak and king crab dinner!! The food was amazing! Wish i could’ve been there to have watched him cook 😂 but the conversation and the vibe with everything! I’m sad we won’t be able to wish each other another happy birthday or have another call just to see how each others doing or him coming to hang out and yell Uncle Kals here as Lyric would get excited and run towards his way ! The world doesn’t know what they lost, i’m not sure i can measure what I lost but i’m glad and thankful I had him at all even a little piece of him! I love you my friend! And i’ll see you on the other side but until then i’ll stay in touch with ma and hopefully continue to make you proud 🥹
Love, Lai ❤️