The Pride Center of Vermont will host a town hall meeting on trans issues Thursday in response to a deepening controversy over the name of a gay bar planned for Winooski.
The proposed name, Mister Sister, generated a raft of critical comments over the weekend from people on Facebook who said the name is a slur for trans women.
The debate opened a rift in the LGBTQ community partly because the owner of the proposed bar, Craig McGaughan, is a gay man who has so far refused to change the planned name or meet with the leader of the Pride Center.
McGaughan announced Friday on Facebook that he would close his wine bar at 45 Main Street, Oak45, on Tuesday and would then reopen soon as the area’s only gay bar. Burlington’s 135 Pearl closed in 2006.
“The LGBT community in Vermont has been missing a place to call our own and through luck, a lot of support and hard work, we have the space to offer that,” McGaughan wrote. All would be welcome, but he emphasized: “I also hope those in the LGBT community feel welcome and safe and will find a sense of camaraderie at the new bar.”
Initially, Oak45 regulars responded to the post with enthusiasm.
But as word of the name spread, the happy glow faded. Heated posts ensued and people from around New England waded in with comments. McGaughan took some posts down, which upset people further.
Aedan Buchanan, a Burlington resident who identifies as a trans male, won’t be going to Mister Sister if it opens with that name.
“If you want to claim that your bar is inclusive to every member of the LGBTQ community, but you want to ignore the voices of the ‘T’ in that acronym, that’s not inclusivity,” Buchanan said.
The name is an act of “verbal violence” that was used to belittle trans women, Buchanan said.
His partner, Aspen Kobetitsch, will also boycott the bar if it opens as Mister Sister.
“I think the name is ridiculous and exclusionary,” said Kobetitsch, who identifies as a nonbinary trans person and prefers to be identified with the pronouns they and them.
Some slurs get reclaimed — including queer, which once was widely viewed as an insulting way to refer to gay people but is now embraced by many gay rights groups. “I’m aware that language is constantly evolving and things can mean new things,” Kobetitsch said.
But the people being marginalized by a term should reclaim it, and in the case of Mister Sister, that would be trans women and not a gay man such as McGaughan, according to Kobetitsch. “It’s not his place.”
McGaughan could not be reached for comment.
Over the weekend, Josie Leavitt, interim executive director of the Pride Center, asked McGaughan if he would meet with her. He declined, she said.
“Craig and I had some Facebook messages over the weekend that were very civil, and we each expressed our point of view, and I said I would love to meet with you, and he said no,” Leavitt told Seven Days.
The name controversy came as President Donald Trump revoked federal guidance under Title IX intended to give transgender students the right to use restrooms that correspond with their gender identity.
It’s a tense time for the community, said Leavitt.
She had not found a location for the town hall as of Monday night but expected to have a site lined up and announced Tuesday morning. There are two goals, she said: “Where do we need to do a better job as the Pride Center in supporting the trans community. And the secondary issue is going to be how do we address the bar issue.”
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Ummm, I’d be where I am today because the lesbian and gay community was pretty fierce well before the “T” gang insinuated themselves into our movement. Your group wasn’t much of a factor in the gay rights movement at all and in all actuality, YOU wouldn’t have the freedoms that you have today if it weren’t for the gay men and women that fought for our rights well before you even came on the scene. Secondly, protecting and supporting doesn’t mean that the rest of the LGBT community needs to buy into every petty perceived insult manufactured by some within that “community”. I fully support equality and protection for everyone and will join in the battle when Civil rights are threatened. This however isn’t one of those times. This is you and your segment of the trans community attempting to smear and bully someone over a very petty and manufactured issue. My guess is that this little tempest that you have created will backfire, the bar will thrive and you will have done nothing more than turn off even more people that could have been supporters.
I think you forgot the purpose of the lgbt community, to provide protection, and the rights for all lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people, without it you would be where you are today.
Dusti – No, Mr. McGaughan does not NEED to meet with the transgender community. Once again you seem to believe that your opinions and feelings have to be important to other people. Many of us gay men have grown tired of the constant whining and victimhood of some in the trans community and quite frankly, don’t care to sit down and have yet another dialogue on the whole trans issue. If you and people like you feel the need to have a little meeting to winge on about how mistreated the trans community is, go right ahead but no one NEEDS to attend.
Thursday evening
Lgbt meeting on the issue at 630 pm, at the senior center ,on North winooski Ave, education goes a long ways
I would say ,Mr McGaughan, needs to meet with the transgender Community, and attend the meeting thrusday.
As a transwoman for over 26yrs now ,and very successful, I find the name very offensive,the lgbt center needs to support the transgender community, on this issue, I’m a long time resident, of burlington and south Burlington, .mister sister, should not be supported by the lgbt community, as it targets offensive slurs towards transwoman.
I’m calling on the transgender community to boycott, this place of insultitiness, totally degrading.
Dusti,I will attend the community discussion on thrusday,
I say Trans community should chill. It’s hard enough to start a business without the community second guessing the intentions of the owner. Remember the taco bell ad campaign Yo Quiero Taco Bell w the chihuahua being offensive to Latinos? Totally misinterpreted by the community. Same thing here. I’d say expend your energy defending mankind against that other guy running tbe country right now . Leave this owner alone, he is so not trying to be offensive to anyone.
1. I’m not wrong I remember being parts of lots of discussions about this – and it’s an ongoing discussion the title “queer” does not erase the title “gay” or “lesbian”. The difference between “queer” and “mister Sister” is that “queer” is an identity that Some
People choose to identify as, whereas “mister Sister” is not.
Not young 3.I grew up in rural NH and can remember clearly “f*cking queer” being used as a slur.
@ Vinci- You are wrong. There was no process with “Queer”. A group of people chose that name for their identity, it stuck and spread. For those of us who are older, Queer is a derogatory, anti-gay, homophobic word that usually was preceded by a swear word. it is a pure word of hate.