Dear Reverend,
I’ve been single by choice for a long time, which I’m completely happy about, but I’m considering getting back into the dating pool. I used to shave my legs and armpits (and sometimes wax downstairs), but I quit doing that when I didn’t have a partner. I love the freedom of not caring about it anymore, but I wonder if body hair will be a deal-breaker for my chance of finding romance. To shave or not to shave?
Furry Worry (woman, 42)
Dear Furry Worry,
Men can have hair anywhere it naturally occurs on their body, and no one bats an eyelash. But a woman with hairy legs, pits or, God forbid, a natural bush? That’ll make some people freak out because they think it’s unhygienic or gross. Which is absolutely untrue and one of my least favorite double standards.
Nobody was thinking about women’s body hair until the 1920s, when razor companies like Gillette realized they had an untapped clientele of about half the population. Armpit hair was advertised as being “embarrassing” or déclassé. The nylon shortage in the 1940s spurred marketers to go after the hair on women’s legs. Later on, bikinis got them focused on pubic hair. And so on and so on.
The hairless-woman ideal is simply the result of companies trying to sell us products that we never needed. Humans are mammals, and we have hair on our bodies for a reason. As long as you bathe properly, there’s nothing unhygienic about it. Thankfully, modern trends are starting to counter the ridiculous stigmatization of women’s body hair.
All this to say: What you do with the hair on your body is entirely up to you. If you are comfortable being au naturel, keep it that way. If anything from a tidy-up trim to a complete wax makes you feel more confident, go for it. Wanna dye your pubes pink? That can happen.
You shouldn’t make yourself uncomfortable for someone you haven’t even met yet. And if a little body hair is a deal-breaker, the relationship probably wasn’t a good deal from the start.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend
This article appears in April 29 • 2026.
