It’s Monday, which means it’s time for your weekly dose of locavore levity: the Joke of the Week! This week’s joke comes from Salisbury’s Tony Bates. Take it away, Tony…

I’ve been reading a lot of online advice articles recently, but they’re written for millennials. Articles like “Top 10 College Majors in the U. S.” or “Top Five Sports Cars for 2017.” Nothing I can use.

I need something written for my demographic. Articles like “How to Get Your 27-Year-Old the Hell Out of the House.” Or “How to Get Your Wife to Have Sex With You Twice in the Same Winter.” Or “Man-scaping: A Gray Area.”

Something I can use.

About That Joke

Says Bates: I’m a middle-aged, middle-class white guy. Really easy to forget about.

Meet the comedian, Tony Bates

Tony Bates Credit: Courtesy of Tony Bates

Tony Bates is a Vermont-based comedian who has performed in Burlington, Portland, Me., Cape Cod, the Mohegan Sun Casino in Connecticut and Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas.

See Him Live

Tony Bates can be seen regularly at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington.

Think you can do better?

We’re always looking for jokes from local comedians. We publish one joke each week, and you can read through previous ones here.

Submit your joke!

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Dan Bolles is a culture coeditor at Seven Days. He joined the paper in 2007 as its music editor, covering Vermont's robust music, comedy and nightlife scenes for a decade before deciding he was too old to be going to the Monkey House on weeknights to...

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