Since my recent confession that I’m not as passionately entranced with chocolate as others seem to be, I’ve realized that I’m being punished by the chocolate gods. How do I know that there are chocolate gods? Because the Latin name for chocolate is Theobroma cacao, and Theobroma translates as “food of the gods. Duh!

I guess these sadistic deities are mad because I talked smack about their sustenance of choice, so they’re punishing me by making sure that lots of diet-crushing, chocolate-y goodness comes my way.

Yesterday, I discovered a confection called a “peanut butter lust bar” at a local health-food store. How could I resist an item named after two of my favorite things? I couldn’t. And the bar just happened to be drenched in…chocolate. (More on this when I actually eat it).

Then, this morning, a co-worker showed up with a lovely box of treats from Laughing Moon Chocolates of Stowe. I had a small piece of peppermint bark and a chocolate-covered caramel sprinkled with salt. Mmm. And that was before breakfast. Who knows what might appear this afternoon? Or how long this torture will last?

To appease my tormentors, I will say that I really enjoy chocolate. It’s a delightful substance, and those who make truffles, bark and bars are lovely people. All I meant was that given a choice between chocolate and salty, fatty pork products, I’d take the pork. Perhaps I’m in the minority?

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Former contributor Suzanne Podhaizer is an award-winning food writer (and the first Seven Days food editor) as well as a chef, farmer, and food-systems consultant. She has given talks at the Stone Barns Center for Agriculture's "Poultry School" and its...