Megan Angelina Webbley, 31, passed away unexpectedly on Sunday, September 29. Specifically, she died of an overdose, finally losing her battle with addiction. She was in Manchester, N.H., seeking treatment for her addiction. We have no clear picture of what went wrong. Megan leaves behind her mother, Dorothy Provenzano, of Boca Raton, Fla.; her father, Edwin Webbley, of Middlebury, Vt.; and her brother, Michael Henderson, of Los Angeles, Calif.; as well as many loving cousins, aunts and uncles. She also left behind four beautiful children who were collectively the light of her dark life.
Though shadowed by opiate addiction, Megan enjoyed a big smile and an infectious laugh. She loved all kinds of music, dancing and doing her makeup. Empathetic in the extreme, she was the underdog’s biggest advocate. And against all circumstances, when she could be, she was a loving, gentle and doting mother. Just last year, she spent a few hours in the pool with all four kids (the youngest has since been adopted by a loving family), and it was a rollicking, madcap outing featuring a waterslide and peals of laughter. It was at that point when she was the happiest we had seen her in years.
Megan grew up in St. Albans and Georgia, Vt., participating in dance and swimming. She proved to be an adventuresome reader and a fearless jumper off cliffs. But on July 1, 2005, she was once again at a cliff on Eagle Bay in Burlington. I was sitting at my desk on the first day of a new job, and a Vermont State Policeman called to tell me to drive to the emergency room at the University of Vermont Medical Center. I was told that she had been pushed off the cliffs and hit the rocks below … with her face. Having been rescued by a man in a kayak and EMTs, she was being stitched up, and her jaw was wired shut. They suspected a TBI, but when they prescribed her liberal doses of opiates, she lost control of her life. She would be in and out of rehab — and jail — for the next 14 years.
To editorialize, I am hoping that the Department for Children and Families rethinks its mission to be the punisher of addicted mothers, the separator of families and the arbiter of children’s futures, and instead embrace a mission of enhanced rehabilitation. We, as a state, are overwhelmed by addiction. We have almost nowhere to turn. I encourage enhanced funding for treatment in general and using DCF as a gateway for mothers with addiction to get help. Because, as one would guess, once the mother is separated from her children, desperation sets in, even with the brightest and most determined of mothers — and Megan Angelina Webbley was that bright and determined mother … with a fatal disease and a dearth of treatment options.
—Submitted by Megan’s father
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This article appears in Oct 2-8, 2019.
I did not know your beautiful child but I have battled the same demons and my daughter has also fought them. By the grace of god my child is 6 years clean and no he’s second child in 2 years. Your words were so important and so accurate. I pray the failed system will finally recognize addiction for the disease it is. Stop taking these children and start helping them get help and stay together. You don’t take a diabetics children or someone with heart disease, you give them the medication they need to function so do the same for these young parents. God bless your family and may peace finally be with your daughter.
Addiction is a horrible disease. There were many times when my children probably should have been taken away from me. The truth is, until I found recovery, I was not a good parent. I did not think I was harming them by sitting on the couch and using. I provided a home, food and a roof over their heads. What I didn’t provide them was my time and attention. Neglect is abuse. Plain and simple. I didn’t know Megan and I wouldn’t presume to say that she neglected her children. I just know what I did, or didn’t do, as the case may be. 130 people die in this country every day from the disease of addiction. That is a very tragic statistic. The disease wants us to be miserable until we eventually find recovery or die from it. It is a terminal disease. We can either die with it, or die from it. Any one of us could be listed in an obituary on any given day. There was a time when I didn’t care if I lived or died. I wish that Megan was still with us. Not for the sake of her kids, but for the sake of herself. I would have loved to have seen her big smile and heard her infectious laugh. She would have given so many people hope. I will pray for her soul and also for the well-being of her children. May she rest in peace.
My heart goes out to her whole family especially her children. My thoughts go out to all who suffer from this dreaded disease of addiction.
I’m sorry for the loss of this young woman. But I respectfully have to disagree that children shouldn’t be separated from their mothers. I have custody of my granddaughter and there is no doubt in my mind horrible things would have happened to her had I not taken steps to keep her safe. MOST children are in dangerous situations due to their parents being on drugs and it’s not only the best thing but the right thing to remove those children from their mother.
My deepest condolences to the family of Megan Angelina Webbley. I am so sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in the your loving memories of your beloved Megan and also look to our Heavenly Father, the God of all comfort, to provide what you need at this very sad time. (2Cor 1:3&4, Psalms 83:18) He promises us that very soon, He will wipe every tear from our eyes and death will be no more……Rev 21:4 and that there will be a resurrection of our loved ones that we have lost in death (Acts 24:15). May these promises from God, who cannot lie, comfort you and give you peace and hope in this most difficult time. My deepest sympathies! jw.org
I lost my nephew to drugs also. This is heartbreaking. Hit them in the pocket book you now have a lawsuit against the creator or oxycodone. Know that she is at peace and in a beautiful place and you will see her again. Sometimes people need so much compassion and love they can only get from God and I believe as soon as she passed love was there to sooth her soul and heal it. Now she will be with her child all the time and be her angel
Im at a loss for words at the sudden death of such a young person and did I read correctly that they are adopting out her kids I dont understand that I think she would want all her kids to stay togeathet and I (as a family member or close friend ) would want every part of her sorry if this offends anyone its just my feelings
I only came across this from a post to a on a Facebook page relating to addiction, but the telling of this story shines light in a place that thrives in the darkness. When broken people only have a broken system to rely on, the much longed for path to sobriety is nothing but a crap shoot. Add to the mix little children, who indeed need to remain innocent and you have the recipe for disaster. Perhaps there’s a way to help addicted parents and keep families in tact, I certainly can’t speak to that with any particulars. My beloved daughter is just about 2 years clean and I know it’s not easy or a guarantee for life that she’ll always thrive as she is now. As much as this young womans struggles caused separation from her children, I can’t help but think at the end of the day, innocent young children deserve to be raised in a stable home while adults deal with their problems. So yes, the goal could be keeping families in tact, but the children’s needs come first. I hope that doesn’t sound uncaring, because I care a lot about people getting sober and staying that way. I wish this woman had found peace and healing here on earth. I know this family is deeply mourning. I hope they can give voice to the changes that are so needed.
My prayers are with you Mom and Dad. I would love to tell you time will heal your heart but it will not after years of thinking why questioning everything you have ever done and thinking if I had done this or that but you finally realize that you did do all you could for your child you loved them you not anything you did caused this as you have stated she had an illness. One day you will have moments of time that you smile again and you have beautiful Grandchildren that you still have here to help you through and that you will see your daughter through them. I believe in Heaven and that there is a eternal home waiting comfort each other with that. Every time that I as God to help me to get through another dark night he always did and he will help you. Your heart may never completely heal but time does help does not fix but it will be better. Hold on to Jesus he is all that helps.
MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES TO MEGANS FAMILY. WE ALSO LOST OUR SON JOSHUA TO SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER. MY HEART IS WITH YOU & HER CHILDREN. IT IS HEARTBREAKING TO WATCH OUR CHILDREN GROW UP WITHOUT THEIR MOMS AND DADS. THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL AND HONEST OBITUARY. OUR CHILDREN ARE AMAZING AND THEY DESERVE TO BE REMEMBERED THAT WAY . ADDICTION IS A DISEASE, ONE THAT ROBBED US OF OUR CHILDREN. PRAYERS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY