Megan Angelina Webbley, 31, passed away unexpectedly on Sunday, September 29. Specifically, she died of an overdose, finally losing her battle with addiction. She was in Manchester, N.H., seeking treatment for her addiction. We have no clear picture of what went wrong. Megan leaves behind her mother, Dorothy Provenzano, of Boca Raton, Fla.; her father, Edwin Webbley, of Middlebury, Vt.; and her brother, Michael Henderson, of Los Angeles, Calif.; as well as many loving cousins, aunts and uncles. She also left behind four beautiful children who were collectively the light of her dark life.
Though shadowed by opiate addiction, Megan enjoyed a big smile and an infectious laugh. She loved all kinds of music, dancing and doing her makeup. Empathetic in the extreme, she was the underdog’s biggest advocate. And against all circumstances, when she could be, she was a loving, gentle and doting mother. Just last year, she spent a few hours in the pool with all four kids (the youngest has since been adopted by a loving family), and it was a rollicking, madcap outing featuring a waterslide and peals of laughter. It was at that point when she was the happiest we had seen her in years.
Megan grew up in St. Albans and Georgia, Vt., participating in dance and swimming. She proved to be an adventuresome reader and a fearless jumper off cliffs. But on July 1, 2005, she was once again at a cliff on Eagle Bay in Burlington. I was sitting at my desk on the first day of a new job, and a Vermont State Policeman called to tell me to drive to the emergency room at the University of Vermont Medical Center. I was told that she had been pushed off the cliffs and hit the rocks below … with her face. Having been rescued by a man in a kayak and EMTs, she was being stitched up, and her jaw was wired shut. They suspected a TBI, but when they prescribed her liberal doses of opiates, she lost control of her life. She would be in and out of rehab — and jail — for the next 14 years.
To editorialize, I am hoping that the Department for Children and Families rethinks its mission to be the punisher of addicted mothers, the separator of families and the arbiter of children’s futures, and instead embrace a mission of enhanced rehabilitation. We, as a state, are overwhelmed by addiction. We have almost nowhere to turn. I encourage enhanced funding for treatment in general and using DCF as a gateway for mothers with addiction to get help. Because, as one would guess, once the mother is separated from her children, desperation sets in, even with the brightest and most determined of mothers — and Megan Angelina Webbley was that bright and determined mother … with a fatal disease and a dearth of treatment options.
—Submitted by Megan’s father
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This article appears in Oct 2-8, 2019.
So sorry. As a parent I have also been there. We lost our daughter Hayley in a car accident 18 years ago. She fought addiction until she was taken at the age of 20. Like your daughter, she was a precious soul with so much compassion for others. Parents are left to grieve. Prayers for you and her children. May you find wonderful peace. Her life mattered. She was so beautiful.
-Karen in Alabama
Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter’s story with us. This is filled with truth and wisdom. God bless those who love her.
To Megans Family,
Please accept my sincere sympathy for the enormous loss you have suffered. I lost my big brother to a heroine overdose in 1964. His addiction started with a high school football injury to his knee. After the painkillers were stopped, he turned to heroine. He left behind 3 beautiful little girls and a wife who never stopped loving him. He was 22 years old. I know of so many families who are affected by addiction, its heart wrenching. I hope they find a solution soon. We are losing some of our best and brightest.
Again, you have my condolences for your loss. I truly feel your pain. God bless you, and God bless Megan.
I am truly sorry for your beautiful daughter’s loss. I am dealing with an addict in recovery, my son who is 9 months clean, 24 yrs old and living at home. He has been to several rehabs and sober livings and admitted that he had to decide to be ready for recovery. I feel your pain as I came so close to losing him and it never ends. I send my heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
Thank you for you truthful words…My son died of an overdose also “huffing” he went to Rehab in Florida which I later found out to late was a joke…….I have learned so much way to late….the pain and grief and sorrow and guilt will carry me to my grave. Thank GOD I have him in my life to get me thru each day fortyone months on the 13th.
Friend, please accept my condolences.
I’ve been a childcare worker at a group home for youth in crisis, a cop, a DCF Social Worker, a juvenile probation officer, and am related to an addict who after many years of struggle mercifully has reached stable sobriety for several years. I’ve seen this problem from all sides.
I am also the father of a child who has died. So, what I say here please accept as being with great solemness and respect for your staggering loss. … We are all doing the best we can in this life; and that includes you
I am not sure there is hope to be had. have not found peace, but I am closer to it than I was. My prayer is that your journey is smoother than mine.
I could not say it better than the writer who said “this was the most poignantly and beautifully written obit I have ever read”. Although I did not have the privilege of knowing your Megan, I have known more “Megans” than I care to count who have been loving, bright lights lost to the demon of addiction.
And, as an aside, nothing grinds me more, as someone blessed with 32 years of recovery, than to hear that ignorant rhetoric repeated to a suffering parent that “some addicts must die so that others can live”. Utter rubbish. No addicts need to die. But as the giant gaping hole in your heart proves, they do. Megan’s loss, and your beautiful tribute to her, serves to fuel my fire in service to the ones who are in my community that I can reach a hand to, and offer the gift of recovery that was offered to me. And we continue to pray that they will reach back. May God bless and keep you, and your family in the coming years.
Thank you for sharing Megan’s story. I hope your family find healing and peace.
Almost every family in America is affected by addiction. It is sad.
I lost my father last year from an opioid overdose. He was a veteran, a father, a grandfather and so much more to so many people. After his heart surgery in 2004, life was never the same, the withdrawals, the doctor shopping, the rehabs, the desperate attempt to obtain more pills, although the VA was kind enough to start mailing them without even seeing him, for years. VA is still the heartbeat to the opioid crisis. My dad was 67 and wanted nothing more than to enjoy fishing, his children and grandchildren and life again. He said at that end if he got through it he wanted to tell his story, now thats left for me to do as it is for this father. Who, like me was living this nightmare before anyone else in the world ever saw it coming. God bless, May your daughter find comfort with all the others in heaven that are finally flying high.