After only a few months of operation, Winooski’s Mister Sister — the only official LGBTQ bar in Vermont — might not be long for this world. Last Thursday, the bar’s owner, Craig McGaughan, launched a GoFundMe campaign to raise some money. His goal: $100,000. Yup. You read that right. This is not pay-back-a-loan-or-two money, nor is it upgrade-one-or-two-things money. This is my-business-is-about-to-tank money. McGaughan writes on the GoFundMe page, “There’s no longer any working capital or any sort of reserve to pull from.”
So what the hell happened? After all, it had been more than 10 years since Vermont even had a gay bar when Mister Sister opened. You’d think that business would be booming. However, a series of unfortunate choices seems to have led to this juncture.
In February, McGaughan announced that his wine bar, Oak45, was to close its doors and reopen as an LGBTQ bar called Mister Sister. Almost immediately, an outspoken contingent of trans people and their allies declared the name an offensive, transphobic slur and demanded that the bar’s name be changed. Much of the discussion took place in comment threads on Mister Sister’s Facebook page and has since been deleted.
Additionally, it seemed that many people had never even heard the term “mister sister” and were confused about how and why it was a transphobic slur. I admit that, despite being gay myself, I was one of those people. I launched into research mode to understand the term’s history. I found that it’s currently used in a number of ways. For example, there’s an annual leather event in Los Angeles and a weekly drag show in San Francisco with that name. A DJ in Seattle uses it as a moniker. An adult entertainment store in Providence, R.I., is called Mister Sister Erotica. In other words, the term seems to be used with some frequency in conjunction with queer entertainment. But does that make it OK?
What seemed most relevant was an incident from late 2014 involving Kate Pierson of the B-52’s. She announced a new single from her debut solo record, Guitars and Microphones, called “Mister Sister.” She told Huffington Post via email that the song “is inspired by all who are transgender and LGB, multidimensional and still transcending.” She went on to write that she hoped it would become a trans anthem.
The comments sparked a firestorm, because Pierson is not transgender. HuffPo contributor and trans woman Jamie Cooper Holland wrote an open letter to the singer, pointing out that it was not Pierson’s place to pen a trans anthem and that the term “mister sister” is “a reminder of the constant water-torture drip that trans people endure day in and day out when we’re addressed as the wrong gender. Getting it half right by using a title with both genders is not inclusive, it’s marginalizing.”
And there you have it. While McGaughan is openly gay and a member of the LGBTQ community, he is not transgender. If we follow the logic presented in Holland’s open letter, the only way for a bar to even have a chance of successfully reappropriating the term in question — as has been done with words such as “queer” — is for it to be owned and operated by trans people.
Meanwhile, the Pride Center of Vermont stepped in to mitigate the issue, though not without internal turmoil. The organization requested a meeting with McGaughan, but he refused. Days later, the center held a town hall meeting regarding the name and trans issues, after which it issued a statement rebuking the name and declaring that it would not support the bar in any way.
Then things sort of died down. The bar opened, and that was that.
In May, the issue resurfaced. Mister Sister was set to participate in Waking Windows, the three-day indie-music festival in downtown Winooski. According to both McGaughan and Paddy Reagan, a festival cofounder, several bands set to perform at Mister Sister refused to play at the venue in solidarity with the trans community. When McGaughan discovered that bands wanted out, he cut ties with the festival entirely, forcing its organizers to scramble to relocate dozens of bands and create a new performance space on short notice.
In a message to Seven Days, McGaughan wrote, “As always, Mister Sister is for the misters and the sisters, those who identify as both, neither and everyone in-between. We love, accept and support everyone in the LGBTQIA community.”
Back to the GoFundMe campaign. Shortly after it appeared, the comments began to roll in. (They were later deleted, and the page was reconfigured to not allow commenting.)
“Do you regret alienating part of your target demographic by choosing a slur against trans women as the name of your establishment?” read one comment.
“What if … now stay with me. You change the name?” read another.
The third, and most inflammatory by far, read, “You’re reaping what you’ve sown. I hope you’ll eventually come to understand that you’ve chosen — with full knowledge and many opportunities to learn — to walk a path of divisiveness and harm. You deserve to lose your shirt, Craig.”
By Monday afternoon, the fund had reached just more than 1 percent of its goal. At that rate, it’ll take close to a year and a half to raise $100,000 — assuming donations remain consistent.
In his outline for how the money would be spent, which includes the repayment of loans to friends and family as well as paying off outstanding bills, McGaughan plans to build a DJ booth and purchase a pool table, TVs and a full sound system. In other words, a mix of necessities and luxuries.
The language used in McGaughan’s plea is fairly desperate. Here are few choice excerpts:
“And if you can’t contribute via this platform, please … just continuously showing up at Mister Sister is a huge help!” All you have to do is “continuously” patronize the bar. No breaks!
Here’s a particularly tone-deaf statement: “We’re sadly lacking the support of part of the community we’ve promised to be here for.” To which part of the community is he referring? The one he alienated by repeatedly digging in his heels?
Another chestnut: “If folks don’t show up, we can’t pay the bills … When people don’t show up, we struggle.” Um, no shit. That is how all businesses work.
But here’s the kicker: “I’ve never been one to ask for help, but I feel if this business fails, and I don’t do absolutely everything in my power to preserve it, I’m failing my community.”
To borrow a joke from Seth Meyers: Really? Was it not in McGaughan’s power to change the name? Was it not in his power to meet with the Pride Center when asked? Was it not in his power to graciously remain a part of Waking Windows? Was it not in his power to take a minute to think about the possible repercussions of his actions throughout the greater LGBTQ community of Vermont?
My summation: Mister Sister is a privately owned business. Therefore, McGaughan can keep the name and do whatever he wants. But to disingenuously purport himself as a helpless victim by presenting a sob story about his failing business is just plain tacky. Wouldn’t it just have been easier to say, “OK. I hear you. These words are hurtful, and it’s more important for you to be heard than it is for me to prove I’m right.”
Listening In
If I were a superhero, my superpower would be the ability to get songs stuck in other people’s heads. Here are five songs that have been stuck in my head this week. May they also get stuck in yours. Follow sevendaysvt on Spotify for weekly playlists with tunes by artists featured in the music section.
Prince, “Little Red Corvette”
Carly Rae Jepsen, “LA Hallucinations”
Miguel, “Coffee”
Khruangbin, “White Gloves”
Connie Stevens, “Sixteen Reasons (Why I Love You)”
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This article appears in June 14 • 2017.
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No Maura,
I think the bar should be excluded because it’s name is a slur and harmful to the Trans and Gender non Conforming communities. By giving it a Daysie Seven Days is awarding transmisogynist and transphobic behavior. I don’t agree with that. I’m allowed. Free country. Not North Korea.
If there were a mechanic for down voting a nominee I would. But there’s not. So I’m voicing my opinion here.
Change the name. It may not save your business, but if what you claim about being an ally is true, then own your mistakes, and work to correct them.
Hi Elena,
I agree with your points and I’m sorry if my comment seemed as though I was using anyone’s memory as a defense. I also believe that being an ally to anyone is not a competition.
Please let me clarify. I’m asking, why are we choosing to attack one another during a time of pride and remembrance? I feel it’s disrespectful to those we have lost and those we are celebrating by infighting during this time.
I also don’t choose to speak about what I have done as an ally through support or philanthropy as a defense of the Mister Sister name. I feel that’s inappropriate and those that I affect, know that I love and support them. The point I’m trying to make is, why has this writer chosen to attack me and Mister Sister out of the blue? If it’s in support of trans folks, I’d be glad to talk about what we’ve each done because if this is his only action, it seems listless and I’d be happy to brainstorm some more direct and productive ways to be an ally.
Craig McGaughan
Mister Sister
“Or Does Jordan’s passion come from being a staunch trans activist? I’m curious, because I’d gladly compare notes on how we have each supported the trans community over the past month, year or even 5 years. . . Credibility lost.”
Craig, the only person whose credibility has been lost is your own. “Supporting” the trans community is not a pissing match to be won. Even if it was, your very public actions would have disqualified you.
This last part of your comment is particularly illuminating, Craig, because it shows that you view being supportive of trans people not as “the right and decent thing to do because they are people like everyone else” but something you should be rewarded for. The underlying message is “ignore my transgressions because I already did something nice for you guys.” That is transphobia. That is othering.
Shame on you Craig.
Stop blaming Seven Days for reporting on the community they serve. It’s time for you to do some true self-reflection.
“I find it troubling that you so easily support a writer that clearly did not effectively research his subject and chose to rely on hearsay, claiming it as fact.”
It’s pretty clear that the author of the column did research his subject pretty effectively. Just because you dislike the result, does not make it so (funny, wasn’t that your argument when trans people and allies asked you to change the name?).
“But what I find most troubling is that Jordan has chosen to approach this story with a tone of such anger, and cynicism toward another gay person just 2 days after the anniversary of the Pulse Massacre in Orlando and during Pride month.
SERIOUSLY??? Did you really just try to invoke a mass slaying of gay individuals to quiet press coverage of your business failings and transphobic attitude? If you aren’t already feeling ashamed of that one you should be. Same goes with invoking Pride. The purpose of Pride is not to give gay, cis, white men a chance to dance drunkenly in the streets, the purpose of Pride is for everyone in the community, ESPECIALLY those who are transgender, women of color (since they are the most marginalized and threatened in the community) to feel uplifted, empowered, and supported. Pride is a reminder to support each other and be proud in who we are. Craig, your actions have been to shame, to blame, and to marginalize: you stand for everything Pride is not.
Wow, Craig speaks!
And Craig sure packs a lot into one comment so let me take it piece by piece (Craig, I welcome a response):
First off, it says a lot in of itself that the first time Craig is willing to speak on the record is, not when asked about the name of the bar prior to it’s opening, not when asked to attend the town hall event, but when a negative column is posted about his bar. Not great form, Craig.
“I’d be happy to meet with you and Jordan and discuss, with evidence, the meeting with the pride center . . . I also have audio recording of the entire trans town hall that I’d be happy to review with you.”
REALLY?? Craig, you could not spare 5 minutes to listen to the trans members of the community before moving ahead with your plans to name your bar a transphobic slur but you are “happy” to take considerable time out of your day to argue the finer details over who interpreted what better in meetings you had regarding these events?
I also want to ask you, if you have all this “evidence” of what happened at the trans town hall (which you did not attend), I am going to presume your point here is maybe to imply that while you did not show up in person, you still listened to the trans community’s concerns. But even if you didn’t listen to the recording you have, I am sure you saw the articles and public comments the name was eliciting. So, again, why not change the name based on the feelings of the community you claim to support?
Craig, you must really know absolutely no shame…
You want facts? Here’s a fact: those people who were lost, are not your martyrs who’s memory is yours to invoke when you need a guilt-inducing defense of indefensible actions and words.
Furthermore, being an ally to trans folks is not a competition… it’s just being a decent person.
Pamela,
By stating that you checked in with Jordan and reviewed his reporting and that you talked with Molly who covered the trans town hall, you’re claiming that it’s acceptable for a reporter to speak with only one source and print it as fact. You’re also claiming that Molly’s account of the town hall is fact and there was no communication breakdown between her experience and Jordans writing of a piece that so clearly came from a very emotional perspective.
I’d be happy to meet with you and Jordan and discuss, with evidence, the meeting with the pride center including Josie, Bridget, Maura and myself. It was very amicable and ended in hugs all the way around. I also have audio recording of the entire trans town hall that I’d be happy to review with you.
I find it troubling that you so easily support a writer that clearly did not effectively research his subject and chose to rely on hearsay, claiming it as fact. But what I find most troubling is that Jordan has chosen to approach this story with a tone of such anger, and cynicism toward another gay person just 2 days after the anniversary of the Pulse Massacre in Orlando and during Pride month. Does not liking the name make acceptable his hateful vitriol? No one at 7d had the wherewithal to question this? Or Does Jordan’s passion come from being a staunch trans activist? I’m curious, because I’d gladly compare notes on how we have each supported the trans community over the past month, year or even 5 years. Or is he just choosing to write something as an “I’ll get him”, giggling with his buddies as he dupes you and uses Seven Days to spread his own agenda? Credibility lost.
Craig McGaughan
Mister Sister
If the purpose of the bar is to create an inclusive environment that people enjoy going to whatever their gender, gender identity, race, sexual orientation, age…and whatever other variables one can imagine… then the owner has not made wise choices.
Dear Maura,
Since you are spending so much of your work day posting comments to defend the transphobic actions of a Winooski business owner, can you please explain how this fits in with your role as the program director of Downtown Winooski? (http://downtownwinooski.org/contact/). Part of the Partnership’s core mission is to make Winooski a better place to live (http://downtownwinooski.org/about/). Your comments seem to be advocating just the opposite for anyone who is trans or, possibly, those who just hold a different viewpoint than you too. Personally, I find this very offensive and at odds with the Partnership’s mission and the Vermont I want to live in. So, I ask again, why are you using your working hours to make these posts?
I cited my sources so that, perhaps you will not accuse me of making up information, like you accused the author of this column.