After only a few months of operation, Winooski’s Mister Sister — the only official LGBTQ bar in Vermont — might not be long for this world. Last Thursday, the bar’s owner, Craig McGaughan, launched a GoFundMe campaign to raise some money. His goal: $100,000. Yup. You read that right. This is not pay-back-a-loan-or-two money, nor is it upgrade-one-or-two-things money. This is my-business-is-about-to-tank money. McGaughan writes on the GoFundMe page, “There’s no longer any working capital or any sort of reserve to pull from.”
So what the hell happened? After all, it had been more than 10 years since Vermont even had a gay bar when Mister Sister opened. You’d think that business would be booming. However, a series of unfortunate choices seems to have led to this juncture.
In February, McGaughan announced that his wine bar, Oak45, was to close its doors and reopen as an LGBTQ bar called Mister Sister. Almost immediately, an outspoken contingent of trans people and their allies declared the name an offensive, transphobic slur and demanded that the bar’s name be changed. Much of the discussion took place in comment threads on Mister Sister’s Facebook page and has since been deleted.
Additionally, it seemed that many people had never even heard the term “mister sister” and were confused about how and why it was a transphobic slur. I admit that, despite being gay myself, I was one of those people. I launched into research mode to understand the term’s history. I found that it’s currently used in a number of ways. For example, there’s an annual leather event in Los Angeles and a weekly drag show in San Francisco with that name. A DJ in Seattle uses it as a moniker. An adult entertainment store in Providence, R.I., is called Mister Sister Erotica. In other words, the term seems to be used with some frequency in conjunction with queer entertainment. But does that make it OK?
What seemed most relevant was an incident from late 2014 involving Kate Pierson of the B-52’s. She announced a new single from her debut solo record, Guitars and Microphones, called “Mister Sister.” She told Huffington Post via email that the song “is inspired by all who are transgender and LGB, multidimensional and still transcending.” She went on to write that she hoped it would become a trans anthem.
The comments sparked a firestorm, because Pierson is not transgender. HuffPo contributor and trans woman Jamie Cooper Holland wrote an open letter to the singer, pointing out that it was not Pierson’s place to pen a trans anthem and that the term “mister sister” is “a reminder of the constant water-torture drip that trans people endure day in and day out when we’re addressed as the wrong gender. Getting it half right by using a title with both genders is not inclusive, it’s marginalizing.”
And there you have it. While McGaughan is openly gay and a member of the LGBTQ community, he is not transgender. If we follow the logic presented in Holland’s open letter, the only way for a bar to even have a chance of successfully reappropriating the term in question — as has been done with words such as “queer” — is for it to be owned and operated by trans people.
Meanwhile, the Pride Center of Vermont stepped in to mitigate the issue, though not without internal turmoil. The organization requested a meeting with McGaughan, but he refused. Days later, the center held a town hall meeting regarding the name and trans issues, after which it issued a statement rebuking the name and declaring that it would not support the bar in any way.
Then things sort of died down. The bar opened, and that was that.
In May, the issue resurfaced. Mister Sister was set to participate in Waking Windows, the three-day indie-music festival in downtown Winooski. According to both McGaughan and Paddy Reagan, a festival cofounder, several bands set to perform at Mister Sister refused to play at the venue in solidarity with the trans community. When McGaughan discovered that bands wanted out, he cut ties with the festival entirely, forcing its organizers to scramble to relocate dozens of bands and create a new performance space on short notice.
In a message to Seven Days, McGaughan wrote, “As always, Mister Sister is for the misters and the sisters, those who identify as both, neither and everyone in-between. We love, accept and support everyone in the LGBTQIA community.”
Back to the GoFundMe campaign. Shortly after it appeared, the comments began to roll in. (They were later deleted, and the page was reconfigured to not allow commenting.)
“Do you regret alienating part of your target demographic by choosing a slur against trans women as the name of your establishment?” read one comment.
“What if … now stay with me. You change the name?” read another.
The third, and most inflammatory by far, read, “You’re reaping what you’ve sown. I hope you’ll eventually come to understand that you’ve chosen — with full knowledge and many opportunities to learn — to walk a path of divisiveness and harm. You deserve to lose your shirt, Craig.”
By Monday afternoon, the fund had reached just more than 1 percent of its goal. At that rate, it’ll take close to a year and a half to raise $100,000 — assuming donations remain consistent.
In his outline for how the money would be spent, which includes the repayment of loans to friends and family as well as paying off outstanding bills, McGaughan plans to build a DJ booth and purchase a pool table, TVs and a full sound system. In other words, a mix of necessities and luxuries.
The language used in McGaughan’s plea is fairly desperate. Here are few choice excerpts:
“And if you can’t contribute via this platform, please … just continuously showing up at Mister Sister is a huge help!” All you have to do is “continuously” patronize the bar. No breaks!
Here’s a particularly tone-deaf statement: “We’re sadly lacking the support of part of the community we’ve promised to be here for.” To which part of the community is he referring? The one he alienated by repeatedly digging in his heels?
Another chestnut: “If folks don’t show up, we can’t pay the bills … When people don’t show up, we struggle.” Um, no shit. That is how all businesses work.
But here’s the kicker: “I’ve never been one to ask for help, but I feel if this business fails, and I don’t do absolutely everything in my power to preserve it, I’m failing my community.”
To borrow a joke from Seth Meyers: Really? Was it not in McGaughan’s power to change the name? Was it not in his power to meet with the Pride Center when asked? Was it not in his power to graciously remain a part of Waking Windows? Was it not in his power to take a minute to think about the possible repercussions of his actions throughout the greater LGBTQ community of Vermont?
My summation: Mister Sister is a privately owned business. Therefore, McGaughan can keep the name and do whatever he wants. But to disingenuously purport himself as a helpless victim by presenting a sob story about his failing business is just plain tacky. Wouldn’t it just have been easier to say, “OK. I hear you. These words are hurtful, and it’s more important for you to be heard than it is for me to prove I’m right.”
Listening In
If I were a superhero, my superpower would be the ability to get songs stuck in other people’s heads. Here are five songs that have been stuck in my head this week. May they also get stuck in yours. Follow sevendaysvt on Spotify for weekly playlists with tunes by artists featured in the music section.
Prince, “Little Red Corvette”
Carly Rae Jepsen, “LA Hallucinations”
Miguel, “Coffee”
Khruangbin, “White Gloves”
Connie Stevens, “Sixteen Reasons (Why I Love You)”
Related Stories
This article appears in June 14 • 2017.
Got something to say?
Send a letter to the editor and we'll publish your feedback in print!
One should know if you want to talk statistically about a city. You have to consider the size of the population and ratio.
Fighting the name of a bar in your own community creates hate.
Fighting your own who was once called family in this community is unacceptable.
Citing the name of an event in a city that has lost one of the 13 trans women of color who were murdered this year probably isn’t the best example… Or maybe more illustrative of the topic at hand?
Seven Days left out a very important event that also uses the name Mister Sister.
Miami FL. Pride has a pool party called MISTER SISTER to celebrate pride. A pool party for all to come together to celebrate pride and every individual.
Check out the link.
http://www.nbcmiami.com/multimedia/Inside-…
FWIW, Maura O’Neill was the person audio recorded the meeting on her phone.
Craig saying “I was given a recording,” here, means, “the person I sent instead of me recorded the meeting.”
I approached Maura after the meeting because I saw her holding her phone at one point that looked like she may be recording. I directly asked her if she recorded the meeting and she said yes. I told her that that was inappropriate given the explicit conversation at the beginning of the meeting about recording. She did not give a shit.
I informed Josie from PCVT about this interaction, I don’t think anything could have been done at that point…but it was shady to say the least.
Where is the Michael Jackson popcorn gif when you need it? Seriously, though, I am just making time until this gross bar goes under and I can go back to my normal life, before I lost respect for the people who defend, patronize, and DJ at the slur bar. The demographics certainly tell a story – plenty of white cis people here telling trans women what is and isn’t transphobic. Sigh.
Sown. Reaped.
Craig,
I was only at the meeting once, so you are probably more of an expert on it than me by now, but my understanding of the consensus was that *RECORDING* was not permitted in the meeting. This is why journalists were asked to bring notepads only, and not audio recording devices and notepads.
When I read your comment that you have an audio recording of the meeting, I physically felt sick to my stomach, and like I had personally been spied on.
Audio recording people surreptitiously can even be criminal in Vermont, depending on the context in which the recordings were taken. In a room full of people who had a long discussion about recording video, it would have behooved whoever took the recording to ask permission or disclose that they wanted to record. Recording the meeting in secret, and passing it along to you, is an unforgivable invasion of privacy and an absolutely deplorable act.
I am so disgusted with you and yours right now I can hardly breathe.
Respectability politics aside…
You’ve yet to address, how you listened to the recording and still could not to come to the conclusion that the moniker was harmful and should be changed.
I’m quite interested to know your rationale. Please be careful, I can be very patient with micro-aggressions against me, but when I hear them directed at others, it’s very grating.
I think it’s fair to say that whether or not you like how people say things, what they have to say is still valid.
Hi Elena-
First, a little known fact is that we (including the Pride Center) had agreed that due to the contentious nature of the situation, it was best for me not to attend.
I was given a copy of the recording and it was explained to me that no video or photographs were allowed into the meeting. I accepted the recording because I felt it was important to hear the voices that were there. I have listened to the meeting in its entirety several times and it was only addresssed that no video or photographs were permitted. I of course respect all of the attendees privacy and have never shared the recording with anyone.
Thank you Elena, for being respectful in your response and questioning.
I’ve been happy to engage in healthy conversation with anyone that has approach me in a mutually respectful manner.
For anyone questioning my “silence”, falsely accusing me of lying or belittling anyone or being aggressive or anyone digging deep to manufacture an “alternative fact” in a fault finding mission without taking the time to speak with, question and understand me, I will disengage. It’s unproductive and hurtful for all of us. And as a learning curve, I’d gamble to say the least effective way for someone to get their way is by attacking and insulting someone.
Craig
Kelly brings up a really disturbing point.
I confirmed with Josie at start of the meeting, “So what you’re saying is that if even ONE person here feels uncomfortable with being recorded, we as a group will agree not to subject them to it?”
To which she said, “Yes, that’s correct.”
I obviously took the opportunity to point out the irony that this small token of dignity and respect for one another was an odd juxtaposition to the subject of the Town Hall.
Craig, what possessed you to flagrantly disregard the privacy rules set forth that evening?
Wait… Craig has an audio recording of the trans town hall? That meeting that opened with a lengthy conversation about whether reporters should be allowed to have cameras and other recording equipment or only notes, and it was decided that they should only be able to take notes by those in the room.
Whoever recorded that audio deeply invaded and violated the trust of everyone in attendance at that meeting. For shame. No one in the room requested permission or disclosed that they would be (or were even interested in) audio recording the meeting.
That is unacceptable behavior and I am absolutely appalled. Given the concerns about recording the meeting that were raised and discussed at the start, it is even more disgusting.
Just when I think there is not much more Craig could do that is upsetting he just keeps them coming.