Last Tuesday, Vermont’s phavorite jam band, Phish, announced that they would play a special benefit concert for victims of Tropical Storm Irene. Unsurprisingly, the quartet’s announcement created tremors of excitement around Vermont and across the whole of Phish phandom. No sooner had word gotten out about the phoursome’s show then dedicated Phish phollowers the country over grabbed some hula hoops, a couple djembe drums, a few pallets of Cheetos and their best water bongs, hopped in their vanagons and hightailed it to Vermont.
They came phrom all over — New Jersey, Connecticut, New Jersey, Colorado, New Jersey — in the hope of nabbing one of the hottest tickets in town. The devoted called in sick to work so they could camp out on the sidewalk, despite the fact that the FlynnCenter box office asked them not to queue until Saturday when the tickets went on sale. When the box office opened at 10 a.m., the weary waiters rubbed the weed smoke phrom their eyes, threw off their drug rugs and stepped up to take their place in history — the show, after all, will be Phish’s phirst in its home state since 2004’s epic concert in Coventry, a big, sloppy mess if ever there was one.
By late Saturday, the show’s 10,000 tickets were sold out. All the die-hards walked away from the box office with a $75 ticket in hand (all the proceeds go to the band’s Waterwheel Foundation and the Vermont Community Foundation, which will dole out the money to appropriate phlood relief efforts). But here’s what I want to know — what are all the out-of-state phans doing until Wednesday’s show at the Champlain Valley Exposition, besides making daisy chains, crafting hemp dog leashes, swapping bootlegs and hosting sing-alongs in City Hall Park? Here’s what they should be doing — volunteering.
I submit that if you’re coming to Vermont just phor the show, you need to phind yourself some gloves and a mask and pitch in. More than 700 residences were destroyed or significantly damaged when Irene rolled through. Sorry to harsh your mellow, but hundreds of people are homeless and without work and could really use a helping hand.
Phans might say that they’re already helping out by purchasing a ticket and dropping some cash on limited edition merch. I dig that, Moonbeam Sunflower. But before the money starts rolling in, there’s work that needs doing. And if you could phigure out a way to get your patchworked, Birkenstocked self all the way here, you can sure as hell phigure out a way to provide some assistance.
Not sure what you can do? Phair enough. Here are some ideas:
— You could phill your camper van with personal hygiene products, phirst aid items, cleaning and school supplies and food and take it to South Royalton. For a full list of this community’s needs, click here.
— How about taking down some walls and pulling up some flooring for the Kadrik family in Waterbury?
— Perhaps you could help muck out the Hancock Town Hall basement.
— Maybe you could help phix the phence at Turner Farm on Route 100 in the Mad River Valley.
There are many more projects that you could help with. Your best bet to phind volunteer opportunities is VTResponse. If you are willing and able, they will gladly set you up with something to do. Not able to swing a hammer, carry a bucket or throw things in a dumpster? Consider writing a check the American Red Cross of Vermont and the New Hampshire Valley, the United Way of Chittenden County, the Vermont Foodbank or any number of towns accepting financial donations. Remember to earmark your contribution for flood relief.
Vermont has been good to you, no? We gave you Phish and Ben & Jerry’s and phlannel and weed. That’s right — we invented phlannel. And weed. We might have even invented patchouli, white-people dreadlocks and barefoot dancing. So consider giving back. Then when you go back to New Jersey, you can tell all your phriends how you helped save Vermont. So heady, brah.
This article appears in Sep 7-13, 2011.
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This simply isn’t journalism. Why would you seek to mock something whose sole purpose is to do something good? Phish stepped up for Vermont when the band was needed the most. I’ve been seeing Phish for almost 20 years. I have a good job, I’ve been recently promoted to a management level position as one of Chicago’s fastest growing privately held companies. I promise you there’s plenty of us who are at Phish for much more then what might be available in the parking lot. Your decision to publish this “piece” of writing speaks volumes about the character of your publication. I’m proud of what Phish is doing and I’m proud that I’m going to be a part of it on Wednesday night. Come about 8:10-8:15 PM there’s no place on the planet that I’d rather be!
What horrible trash. Does 7 Days have any comment about this piss poor blog post?
I hate to break it to you Ms. Ober, but Vermont wasn’t the only state devasted by the storm. Most of the eastern seaboard including North Caroline, New Jersey, Mass, New Jersey and Connecticut had their own fair share of destruction too. If you don’t believe me, feel free to Google storm pictures of Cosey Beach in East Haven. So before you start judging people you don’t even know, you may want to step out of the self-absorbed bubble you live in and consider the others who lived and lost through the storm. I’m a CT resident who had her fair share of cleaning up to do and I’m looking forward to a couple days in VT seeing my favorite band. You are by far the most unprofessional writer I’ve ever come across.
Lifelong Vermonter here. I really thought Pamela Polston and Paula Routly would be above green lighting such pandering vitriol in an effort to garner some easy web clicks. Guess not.
Would the leadership at 7daysVT once and for all temper the uber than though condescending attitude its staff writers have towards phish. be it in the music section (I will say dan has gotten much better) or this ridicules blog – give it a rest.there will be more young professionals, teachers, business leaders, and flood relief volunteers at wednesday’s show than any other music event of the year. to suggest that the fan base hasn’t contributed its share to vermont is absurd. phish has given more to this state than any other artist, and more than all the other band to come out of burlington in the past decade combined. sorry dan and lauren, your bands will never be as big is phish. stop being bad losers and show some respect… and appreciation.it’s not 1997, the band has grown up, he fans have grown up, please grow up too.
Wow, way to convince people who are already helping VT to continue to offer assistance. Nothing like a rude, ignorant blog to sway people. How about you ask your favorite band to come and do a benefit concert? And then all of the people who show up can be called names by some faceless computer blogger, and ridiculed until they help. You’re a douche bag.
Lauren, your a lesbian right? Should I go ahead and rip into you with a bunch of stereo types because there is no fundraising going on by lesbian groups all the while attacking the demographic? No, I should not because I have a hell of a lot more class then you.Seven days, the poorest examples of journalism have come from Lauren’s half-assed attempts. Think about it.
Wow! Do you have editors Seven Days? Or do you just let your hack “writers” put out what ever garbage they please and call it journalism? I know this is a blog and not in print, but COME ON! This is not a story, but fit for an “Opinion” column. The premise Lauren? “Let me stereotype and insult you and then tell you what you can do for me after already contributing $75?” Really?!?!Lauren, when and where have you volunteered? I remember reading you rode a bunch of peoples ATV’s around for a bit, but how many hours have you put in? How much money have you contributed? Is this your attempt at organizational skills? This concert, regardless of everyone’s stereotypes, will bring not thousands, but MILLIONS of dollars to help our state. So what can YOU do for VT haters? Realize this and shut your hyper-critical mouths. Seven Days: this article is a chink in your armor and has made me, as well as others I am sure, tremendously less excited to pick up your new issue each Wednesday. Quality control please.
Know what this is? This is like asking, “In NYC for tourism? Why aren’t you digging through the ruins of the WTC helping the NYFD?”That is exactly what this is.The bottom line is that they will be there to help – as will many more people purchasing the concert stream. Firing off righteous indignation because they aren’t helping the way you want just exposes you for a bilious stain on Journalism’s boxers, a charlatan whose ability to count suddenly disappears when blessings are presented.Regardless, I will still happily give what I can to help, and urge others to do the same. Speaking of urging, I have a letter to write to your editor.
Worst article ever. Not even funny. Since when are folks who donate money obligated to come work? I get 2 days off a week from work and I choose to spend those to travel to Vermont and support the event. It’s a win win. If you want to rustle up support for volunteers, then say so. Don’t trash the people that are supporting your cause to rebuild your lives. Unbelievable. This article will not help your publication in any way. I suspect your readership will go down from this exploit.