Last Tuesday, Vermont’s phavorite jam band, Phish, announced that they would play a special benefit concert for victims of Tropical Storm Irene. Unsurprisingly, the quartet’s announcement created tremors of excitement around Vermont and across the whole of Phish phandom. No sooner had word gotten out about the phoursome’s show then dedicated Phish phollowers the country over grabbed some hula hoops, a couple djembe drums, a few pallets of Cheetos and their best water bongs, hopped in their vanagons and hightailed it to Vermont.
They came phrom all over — New Jersey, Connecticut, New Jersey, Colorado, New Jersey — in the hope of nabbing one of the hottest tickets in town. The devoted called in sick to work so they could camp out on the sidewalk, despite the fact that the FlynnCenter box office asked them not to queue until Saturday when the tickets went on sale. When the box office opened at 10 a.m., the weary waiters rubbed the weed smoke phrom their eyes, threw off their drug rugs and stepped up to take their place in history — the show, after all, will be Phish’s phirst in its home state since 2004’s epic concert in Coventry, a big, sloppy mess if ever there was one.
By late Saturday, the show’s 10,000 tickets were sold out. All the die-hards walked away from the box office with a $75 ticket in hand (all the proceeds go to the band’s Waterwheel Foundation and the Vermont Community Foundation, which will dole out the money to appropriate phlood relief efforts). But here’s what I want to know — what are all the out-of-state phans doing until Wednesday’s show at the Champlain Valley Exposition, besides making daisy chains, crafting hemp dog leashes, swapping bootlegs and hosting sing-alongs in City Hall Park? Here’s what they should be doing — volunteering.
I submit that if you’re coming to Vermont just phor the show, you need to phind yourself some gloves and a mask and pitch in. More than 700 residences were destroyed or significantly damaged when Irene rolled through. Sorry to harsh your mellow, but hundreds of people are homeless and without work and could really use a helping hand.
Phans might say that they’re already helping out by purchasing a ticket and dropping some cash on limited edition merch. I dig that, Moonbeam Sunflower. But before the money starts rolling in, there’s work that needs doing. And if you could phigure out a way to get your patchworked, Birkenstocked self all the way here, you can sure as hell phigure out a way to provide some assistance.
Not sure what you can do? Phair enough. Here are some ideas:
— You could phill your camper van with personal hygiene products, phirst aid items, cleaning and school supplies and food and take it to South Royalton. For a full list of this community’s needs, click here.
— How about taking down some walls and pulling up some flooring for the Kadrik family in Waterbury?
— Perhaps you could help muck out the Hancock Town Hall basement.
— Maybe you could help phix the phence at Turner Farm on Route 100 in the Mad River Valley.
There are many more projects that you could help with. Your best bet to phind volunteer opportunities is VTResponse. If you are willing and able, they will gladly set you up with something to do. Not able to swing a hammer, carry a bucket or throw things in a dumpster? Consider writing a check the American Red Cross of Vermont and the New Hampshire Valley, the United Way of Chittenden County, the Vermont Foodbank or any number of towns accepting financial donations. Remember to earmark your contribution for flood relief.
Vermont has been good to you, no? We gave you Phish and Ben & Jerry’s and phlannel and weed. That’s right — we invented phlannel. And weed. We might have even invented patchouli, white-people dreadlocks and barefoot dancing. So consider giving back. Then when you go back to New Jersey, you can tell all your phriends how you helped save Vermont. So heady, brah.
This article appears in Sep 7-13, 2011.
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Wow, this is so ugly. I hope people don’t think all Vermonters feel this way. And anyone who thought of volunteering is probably now thinking twice about it…you make us look like a-holes. Thanks.
How about if the tenor of the article was more along the lines of this:Phish generously puts on a production that will donate over $1Million to charity in the state that they love and call home. Fans respond accordingly and as their history has proven, will likely do more than simply arrive and leave. Through various fan led initiatives such as the Mockingbird Foundation, Phish fans have shown that they are among the more generous of all fan bases. A sampling of projects that some fans might like to know about so that they can be involved include: yada, yada, yada.This disgraceful writing not only embarrasses the writer and publication for its ignorance, but it is unlikely to spur fans into action like it supposedly hopes to.The editor owes an apology to the band and its fan base.Disgusting.
I agree with your message that Vermont needs help and anyone who finds themselves here with some spare time (phish fan or not) should find some ways to volunteer. That being said, your article is so full of rude, inaccurate statements that it is hard to get to that message. Did you actually talk to any people in line? Have you interviewed any people from out of state who came to town to get tickets and are just “making daisy crowns” until Wednesday? My sense is that a large number of people in that line were people who live in Vermont, who want to support the great state we live in. I would guess that the number of out-of-staters is much fewer than you make it out to be. And, isn’t spending 75$ on this great cause better than the nothing that thousands of others are doing to help out. Oh and speaking of the long line…so what if people got in line sooner than they were supposed to. Did they cause any trouble? Not that I heard of. So, if a group of individuals can spend a night on the sidewalk and all get along, keep the peace, and not really disrupt anyone…all to pay 75$ to support VT then, good for them. Also, your condescending tone is completely unnecessary and makes phish fans out to be something that is completely untrue. I am a 31-year-old, working professional who doesn’t travel around the country with hula hoops, drums, cheetos, and bongs. If you actually knew anything about the fan base of phish, you might realize that there are more people like myself than the type you describe in your article. Oh, and what are your favorite hipster bands and all their fans doing to support VT? Deer tick played a show on the night of the hurricane and I haven’t heard anything about them sticking around for a few extra days to help out and volunteer. I expect more from the seven days than this ridiculous excuse for journalism.
There's nothing more annoying than someone who writes about Phish and replaces every "F" with "PH".
I'm not going to the show because I can't afford to fly up there, but I have already asked all of my friends who are going to bring donations or try to stick around to help. Just because you haven't seen them do it YET, doesn't meant they aren't doing it. And how do you know they haven't donated additional money? I have also donated to a couple organizations already. The fact that these people are coming to VT, spending money on a concert there, buying from local stores, putting money into your state, etc. is awesome. You're an ass. And all of those stereotypes you threw at us no longer hold true for the Phish community. Get with the times brah.
I find this article embarassing. As someone born and raised in VT, I’m only partial to Phish for their geography, not really for their music. But this piece is bothers me. A band has put on a benefit from which thousands of dollars will be donated to the disaster relief/cleanup efforts. People will drop good money to be put towards that cause, money that would otherwise NOT be spent in VT or donated to the funds. And you mock that? Pathetic. You should be embarrassed. On behalf of Vermont, please leave.
You acknowledge that all of these people have donated $75 each to flood relief, then inexplicably imply that these same people are obligated to do even more. Phish fans are annoying to me too, and there was probably fertile comedy ground in their impending influx to the area, but reciting stereotypes has been done to death and the central premise makes no sense.
This rude commentary is not slightly funny and it is not phish fans who should be targeted for your anger. Without the fans their who be NO benfit . shut your Mouth how many barns and stores did u muck out !!!!!
Get a mask and start helping or go away – Phish plays everywhere and all the time as you all should know…. How would you feel if we came and gawked at your disaster and loss of life as you knew it?! Seriously if your a phish fan you are all about helping people right??? PROVE IT!
I agree with moonbeam sunflower. It was slightly entertaining, but mostly just rude. I’m going to the show, I live in vt and my job has been affected. I spent multiple days deep in silt and sewage. A different approach might have had a better affect.
While I support volunteering, your snarky tone is rude and your ignorant stereotyping of phish fans certainly does not motivate me to support ANYTHING you have to say.