Credit: Dreamstime

An axiom of modern journalism is, “Never read the comments.” Such sections often turn into nasty scrums of name-calling and disses.

Well, we here at Seven Days do read the comments, and our contributors generally stay on topic and provide good context, perspective and arguments to stories. They also point out the occasional error — thanks for that!

This year, we logged more than 5,600 comments on the thousands of news stories, music reviews, features and other content we create week in, week out. In honor of that, we’ve rounded up our favorite comments of the year from sevendaysvt.com. Some were zany, interesting or just made us LOL.

None of the original spelling, punctuation or grammar has been corrected here, and most of the authors are identified by user names — not real ones. We’ve spared you the ongoing online debate about that.

We’re taking a break for the holiday — there’s no paper on January 4 — but the Seven Days website never sleeps or takes a vacation! So keep the comments coming. Thanks again for weighing in. m

Re: “1881, Camera,” November 23

This is the best fucking band that has ever existed

Posted by Mike Daly, November 29

Ed. note: #ReviewABandin10Words

Re: “Who’s That Roadside Elvis in Addison County?” November 9

If he were really legit his middle name would be Aron.

Posted by stellaquarta, November 14

Ed. note: The King’s middle name was Aaron.

Re: “Drink Up: Scout & Company in Winooski,” November 12

This article is surely satire. Nothing could possibly be this pretentious otherwise.

Posted by Leonard Bast, November 15

Ed. note: It’s hard out there for a food writer!

Re: “First Baptist Church of Burlington”

There is no excitement anywhere like a First Baptist Church chicken pie supper. Come prepared for thrills and laughs.

Posted by Jay Furr, October 22

Ed. note: A ringing endorsement.

Re: “Hillary Clinton Wins Vermont,” November 8

Bernie would have won the election.

Posted by Karen E. Koskoff, November 9

Ed. note: You had to know this was coming.

Re: “A ‘Witch-In’ Targets Trump,” November 3

I bet not ONE of these women is a Wiccan. We. Do. Not. HEX. If we did, I’d hex these hags for defaming my religion. I resent this, and not just a little bit – and shame on you, Seven Days, for promoting this bigoted crap.

Posted by kestrel9000, November 4

Ed. note: This one needs no commentary.

Re: “Know Your GMOs: Vermont’s Labeling Law Takes Effect,” July 1

I’d like to offer you some wine to go with your GMO cheese. The added bonus is you have to eat it in another state.

Posted by Mt.Philo, July 1

Ed. note: Just be careful what pasture you picnic in!

Re: “Mr. Mikes Pizza Opens SideBar,” May 3

I ate Mister MIke’s pizza the other day for the first time in nearly 25 years. Did you know that it’s just as bad when you’re a drunken 19 year old with a fake ID as it is when you’re a sober 42 year old? It’s true!

Posted by Dr. Mindbender, May 6

Ed. note: COLLEGE! So many memories — er, drunken blurs.

Re: “Shumlin: Repealing Obamacare Would Be a ‘Disaster’ for Vermont,” November 29

If you don’t have children, never get sick, and don’t grow old – you’ll be fine under Trump

Posted by Sarita Austin, December 1

Editor’s note: So … Tuck Everlasting?

Re: “WTF: What Happened to Burlington’s Pay Phones?” January 20

There’s a pay phone outside the Fletcher Free Library. Saw someone using it yesterday.

Posted by Dr. Mindbender, January 27

Ed. note: Guess we found the one person still using a pay phone in 2016!

Re: “Rep. Peter Welch Calls Democrats’ 25-Hour Gun Sit-In ‘Very Effective,'” June 23

Saddest headline of 2016, right here.

Posted by Justin Boland, June 24

Ed. note: Remember, folks, he wrote this in June.

Re: “Dunne Snags Sanders Campaign Manager’s Endorsement,” July 29

But who does Bernie’s dry cleaner endorse?

Posted by Mt.Philo, July 29

Ed. note: Admit it, you guys loved reading all things Bernie this year.

Re: “Zuckerman Apologizes for 2013 Remark About Vermont Air Guard,” October 25

Zuckerman should at least apologize for this year’s farm share. I got like 2 cucumbers the entire summer and I don’t remember getting any peas. Too busy campaigning I guess.

Posted by Mt.Philo, October 25

Ed. note: What, no mention of Zuck’s ponytail?

Re: “Vermont Legislators Admit to Cheating the System. Are They Justified?” February 3, 2010

If I were to steal from my employer because I thought I wasn’t being paid enough I would be charged with embezzlement and fired. In politics that would make me a candidate for higher office.

Posted by Kurt Eckert, October 27

Ed. note: Don’t try this at home.

Re: “Tremolo Coffee Shop Pops Up in Montpelier,” July 12

Finally. A hipster coffee shop!

Posted by The Oracle, July 12

Ed. note: Get it? There are lots of hipster coffee shops!

Re: “Sugar High! Ben & Jerry’s Non-Dairy Frozen Desserts,” February 16

Someone is seriously complaining that the ice cream has almond milk in it? My gluten free home brewed yoga beer is both dairy free and nut free.

Posted by Mark Lade, February 17

Ed. note: [Sings] You can’t always get what you waaaant.

Re: “New Performance Venue Planned in Thriving Downtown Winooski,” May 19

I live a block from the proposed venue. You can park in my driveway for $20.

Posted by Seth Gillim, May 19

Ed. note: Entrepreneurism!

Re: “Hunting Foes Want to Snare Seats on Vermont’s Fish & Wildlife Board,” October 12

Let me look into my crystal ball: In the future I will have to get written permission from some tree hugging, vegan, from NJ before I can give lead poisoning to the cute little squirrel who’s chewing a hole in the side of my house.

Posted by Paul Jones, October 13

Ed. note: Probably!

Re: “The Gun: How I Bought an AR-15 in a Five Guys Parking Lot,” June 15

Do we really know for certain that he bought this at a private sale?? No evidence, no sale slip, etc, etc. Could be a made up story to further the liberal agenda. Wish I’d know about it, I’d buy it in a minute.

Posted by Ron Minor, June 20

Ed. note: This is a strange conspiracy theory but … OK!

If you really want to impress us you should pick up a TERRORIST at the Five Guys parking lot and deliver him to BPD!

Posted by Lawrence Thurber, June 16

Ed. note: Sure, we’ll get right on it.

So you intentionally set up a legal gun buy to make it look sinister. Great job, you are a attention seeking dipshit. Look at me look at me!!! Over here!!! Look what I can do!!!! Asshat.

Posted by guns aren’t the problem, you are, June 15

Ed. note: Paul tells us he hasn’t been called an “asshat” since fifth grade.

The original print version of this article was headlined “So Much to Say”

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This article appears in Dec 28, 2016 – Jan 3, 2017.

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