Golden Showers 

Dear Mistress,

Is it safe for my boyfriend to piss in my mouth? I don’t want to actually drink it, but we both think it would be hot for it to hit my mouth. To give you a little background: We starting playing around with piss in the shower one time, and we’ve gotten progressively more kinky over the last year. We just want to be sure we’re being safe.

Signed,

Pee-on

Dear Pee-on,

Happy to hear you’re trying some water sports this summer — and I don’t mean tubing down the raging Winooski. For some folks, adding a sprinkle of tinkle is the perfect garnish for a sexy concoction. Piss play can be very sensual and highly intimate. I commend you and your beau for exploring your golden horizons.

The short answer is that drinking urine is mostly safe, so getting a little in your mouth isn’t going to harm you. That said, imbibing urine does carry some risk. According to Columbia Health, “Hepatitis B, chlamydia and gonorrhea could be present in the urine and could theoretically be transmitted to the drinker, causing infection ... People who have an autoimmune disorder (including HIV/AIDS), kidney problems, high blood pressure, diabetes or other major medical problems need to shy away from drinking or swallowing urine because of the possibilities for infection.”

If you’re at all apprehensive about the taste or consistency of your guy’s urine, ask him to watch his diet. To make pee less pungent, avoid asparagus and coffee. If you’re looking for a sweeter taste, try some diet soda — the piss pros insist that artificial sweeteners make for a more pleasant smell and taste.

Cheers,

mm

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