The 2013 Sex Survey: Part 4 

A few of you landed on a “goddess,” more still on a “porn star.” Several mentioned marathons, and some took their cue from Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. A number of you looked to the animal kingdom for inspiration when pressed to fill in the blank. A dolphin! A gorilla! When one fortysomething couple makes waves, he sounds like a “reserved walrus,” she like a “seal.” We especially appreciated the alliteration-loving reader who came up with “a pot-bellied pig plunging into a pile of mud.”

And so, in honor of that poetic flourish, we’ll let you have the final word on this one. Consider this your found poem:

• A wild boar
• A joyful beast
• A lion
• A tiger
• A bear
• A strangled priest
• A nun without her habit
• A superhero changing into an uncomfortable costume
• I’m winning a fight to the death against unlikely odds
• I giggle
• Like a champ
• Like I stubbed my toe really hard
• I’m mad
• I’m happy as all hell
• Happy like the great Mississippi
• A Bach cadence
• An opera singer
• A fucking symphony
• A wailing ghost
• A wounded dog
• I have rainbows coming out of my ears
• A Foley sound artist for a ’40s cartoon
• A stuttering car engine
• A steam locomotive
• A generator winding down
• contents under pressure
• A crowd of teenaged girls at a Justin Bieber concert
• A lumberjack chopping down a tree
• An overweight Russian longingly calling his own name
• Linda Blair in The Exorcist!
• Björk
• Darth Vader
• John McEnroe winning Wimbledon
• A hot-air balloon
• A diving submarine
• An F-35
• A yes machine
• A tea kettle
• The wind in a creaky old barn
• A sigh of relief
• Quiet

Illustration by Sean Metcalf.

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