click to enlarge - Maxwell Hughes
- A.M. Foster Bridge in Cabot
This "backstory" is a part of a collection of articles that describes some of the obstacles that Seven Days reporters faced while pursuing Vermont news, events and people in 2022.
"You know that they're listening, right?"
I took a deep breath, reminding myself to be patient with the man on the other end of the line. I should have expected a few conversations like this when I pitched a cover story about unidentified flying objects in Vermont. After all, you don't just toss out a question like "Have you ever seen a UFO?" and expect to get a big helping of logic.
"Can you meet me in Holland?" he pressed. "Holland, Vt. It's near the border."
I almost spit out, "Oh, really? I thought you meant you wanted me to fly to the goddamn Netherlands," but I mastered my growing irritation.
Instead, I replied politely, "I'm familiar with the town, sir. That's a bit of a haul from Burlington. Could you give me the gist of your story now?"
"You should really meet me out here in the woods," he said, grumbling. "But fine, I'll say what I can. But don't be surprised if the line cuts off suddenly."
Before I could say anything, "Martin" launched into the great conspiracy. At least, I think that's what he was describing. It was difficult to keep up.
Here we go, I thought to myself. Finally, some oddball stuff.
"So, you get it, right?" he took a breath. "They're launching the Starlink satellites at specific times to mask landings."
I asked him how a launch in Florida could obscure a landing in Vermont.
A noise came over my phone like a cat hissing and coughing at once.
"I already told you that," he said, seething. "It's about their energy signatures!"
The conversation was unraveling by the second, but I began to wonder if that was what my story needed. I started seriously contemplating a drive to the Northeast Kingdom. I asked Martin for directions to the "landing sites."
"You'll need me to get past the FEMA camp," he insisted, refusing to give any further details.
"The what now?" I asked.
"The FEMA camp. They smuggled it in during Hurricane Irene," he said. "They bought some farms in the area, as well, and I'm pretty sure they're digging beneath them to connect to the camp."
An alarm clicked on in my head, not unlike when a car activates the check-engine light. As far as conspiracy theories go, the minute someone invokes the Federal Emergency Management Agency, you know they've been listening to right-wing nut job Alex Jones. This was just another dude who listened to too many shitty podcasts.
I thanked Martin for his time and wished him good luck in his quest, whatever that might be. Would Fox Mulder of "The X-Files" have checked out his crazy claims? Yeah, probably.