Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Love Him — or Wait for Him to Say it? | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Love Him — or Wait for Him to Say it? 

Published September 6, 2023 at 10:00 a.m.

click to enlarge ID 28664111 © IGOR ZAKOWSKI | DREAMSTIME
  • ID 28664111 © Igor Zakowski | Dreamstime

Dear Reverend,

My boyfriend and I have been dating each other exclusively for a little over a year. I love him, and I feel like he loves me, but neither of us has come right out and said it yet. I want to say "I love you" to him, but every time I try, I lose my nerve. Should I just wait for him to say it first?

Shy Guy (man, 25)

Dear Shy Guy,

Telling someone you love them is never a bad thing. Well, walking up to a complete stranger and professing your love would be odd, but you know what I mean. I'm a big fan of love, and I think you should tell your favorite people that you love them all the damn time — don't wait! You never know what tomorrow might bring.

The two of you have been together for a while. I'm sure you've shared many intimate moments and conversations. So what are you afraid of? Are you worried that he'll think you're too serious about the relationship? Seems like he would have split by now if he wanted something casual. Worst-case scenario: He says he doesn't love you and breaks up with you on the spot. I doubt that'll happen, but if it does, it's a sign that he isn't the one for you after all.

Practice saying the word "love" to him. Start with "I love spending time with you" or "I love your new pants." Then it might feel less intimidating when you say "I love you." It's quite possible that he's also nervous and waiting for you to go first.

Oh, and the way you tell this fella that you love him doesn't have to be fancy. You can do it at the grocery store, or driving in the car, or watching TV. You don't have to make some grand speech. It's just a few words, but they pack a punch no matter where or how you say them.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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About The Author

The Reverend

What's your problem? Need some irreverent counsel on life's conundrums? You can always just "Ask the Rev."


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